Power of Commitment
by Ryan T. Nelson
Summary: Continuation of Corey Holmes's Power of Pain. CHAPTER FIVE IS FINALLY UP!!!!!!! *silence* I'm sure you're all SOOO excited to know that.
1. The Reluctant Truth

Authors Notes: O.K. look, I know that nobody ever wants to read the part at the beginning. The dreaded authors notes. But in this particular case it is very important that you do read them. Paying attention? Good. This fiction "Power of Commitment" is based on two other fics written by one Corey Holmes. Since I am finishing his work I feel obligated to give him some credit at least. Anyway to recap the previous fics.   
  
In the first story "Power Of Pain" Asuka is being attacked by the 15th angel as it is raping her mind. Commander Ikari won't let Shinji go save her and he is, to say the least, royally pissed off! Anyway Shinji fights his way to the surface and saves Asuka in a rather unique way.  
  
In the second story "Power Of Love" Shinji attacks the rescue crew as they try to pull him out of his entry plug in an insane rage. They finally sedate him and he is admitted to the infirmary. Which is where I will be starting my story.  
  
Power Of Commitment part one:   
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
Shinji woke up screaming. He jerked to a sitting position on the bed and looked around in a panic, trying to figure out where he was. Then he realized, he was in the infirmary.....again.  
  
"I really hate this ceiling." he moaned to himself as he laid back to stare up at the ceiling. He wiped a film of sweat off of his forehead with one hand, and slowly let his memories come back to him. He dimly remembered the fight with the angel he could hear Asukas screams, echoing in his mind.  
  
Off to his side a door opened and he weakly turned his head to see who it was. Misato was standing in the doorway. She had a huge grin plastered on her face and she slowly walked over too him. But he could tell that the smile was a forced one.  
  
"What's wrong Misato?" he asked. The grin vanished and she stumbled to the bed collapsing against him, her entire body shaking. She grabbed him roughly and began to sob into his chest.  
  
"Oh Shinji," she cried, "I thought that I had lost you this time." Shinji awkwardly wrapped one arm around her shoulders and did his best to console the crying woman.  
  
"How long have I been out?"  
  
"A little over two days, I think." she said, her voice cracking badly. "As they were pulling you out of the entry plug you went mad and attacked the rescue crew. The ended up giving you an un-measured dosage of a pretty strong sedative. You almost died from the shock to your body." She looked up into his eyes and her voice trailed off in shock.  
  
His face was a cold mask of rage. But it was his eyes that she would later have nightmares about. They momentarily reminded her of the eyes of Unit 01, they seemed to be glowing with an internal fire that sent a cold shiver down her spine. She had never seen such hatred in him before and she instinctively knew in what direction that hatred would lash out at. Right then and there she prayed that she would never see that fire in his eyes again. She would not get her wish.  
  
"How is Asuka?" He asked. His voice had an edge to it that sounded almost exactly like Commander Ikari. It was not so much a question as an order. He wanted information and he expected her to give it to him.  
  
"She is fine. She was just a little distraught after that angels attack."  
  
"And my Father?" Shinji asked, biting on the words as if they were the most vile thing on the face of the planet. "Where is he Misato?"  
  
"I think that he might be in his office." With that Shinji roughly pushed her to the side and proceeded to rip the IV out of his arm, not even pausing to stem the blood that instantly flowed from the wound. "Shinji stop." Misato cried trying to hold him in the bed. But he was surprisingly strong.  
  
"Misato!" Shinji barked, rage filling his voice. "I love you very much. But he must pay for what he's done, and if you try to stop me I will be forced to take action that I do not want to have to do." She nodded silently and let him go. He stood and ran out of the hospital room in search of his father. Misato pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed in the number for the security division.  
  
"Misato here. The Third Child has just left his room and is currently in search of Commander Ikari. He is not currently armed but he is to be considered extremely dangerous. You are to locate him and return him to the infirmary, but he is not to be harmed. Use of the tranquilizer guns are authorized."  
  
"Yes ma'am." came the voice on the other end. She hung up the phone.  
  
"Shinji. Dont do anything stupid."  
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Sub-Commander Fuyutski was walking down one of the many hallways in Nerv Headquarters. He had a lunch box in one hand and was heading for Commander Ikaris' office where the two usually ate lunch together. He dropped his lunch when he felt a strong hand grab his wrist and twist his arm painfuly behind his back until his hand was between his shoulder blades. He felt hot breath on the back of his neck as his attacker leaned in to whisper into his ear.  
  
"Vice-Commander Fuyutski." Shinji hissed through clenched teeth. "It is good to see you again, however this is not the time for pleasantries. I am well aware of the fact that you have a side arm in your jacket pocket. Would you be so good as to give it to me?  
  
"Shinji!" Fuyutski gasped in pain. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I am in control of this situation," Shinji hissed. "And unless you want me to break your arm I would suggest that you hand over your weapon right now." Fuyutski slowly reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a loaded revolver that he handed over his shoulder. "Thank you very much." Shinji said, then he hit the man in the back of his head with the butt of the revolver.  
  
The elderly man fell unconscious to the floor at Shinjis feet. Shinji took little notice of him now that he was no longer a threat, and raced down the hallway to his fathers office.  
  
____________________  
  
Inside the office Commander Gendo Ikari sat at his desk patiently waiting for his former sensei to arrive. He was in his trademark position, elbows on the desk fingers laced in front of his mouth and the light reflecting off his dark mirrored glasses.  
  
Suddenly his door burst open and Shinji, clad in nothing but his hospital gown, strode into the large office as if he owned it.  
  
"Father! You son of a bitch!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. As usual Gendo Ikari was completely unruffled by the events taking place around him.  
  
"What do you wan't?" he asked, his voice betraying no emotion despite seeing the gun that Shinji was now gripping so hard that his knuckles were white.  
  
"What do I want?" Shinji screamed. "I want you to pay for what you did to Asuka." With that he raised the gun, pointed it at those hated glasses, and pulled the trigger.  
  
____________________  
  
Outside in the hall, Misato was slowly approaching the office doors. She stopped momentarily to check the pulse of the still unconscious Fuytski. Suddenly she heard a gun shot from inside the office.  
  
"Oh no." She breathed out. "I hope Shinji didn't kill him." She rushed forward and kicked open the door. She ran inside and skidded to a halt when she saw Shinji standing in the middle of the room staring at the still alive, yet, obviously shaken Commander Ikari.  
  
The Commander was still sitting at his desk. But now he was holding his shoulder in one, white gloved hand that was already looking more red than white. Shinji still had the gun pointed at him. And he was screaming.  
  
"You wouldn't let me save her. You were just going to let that angel tear apart her mind. You were going to let her die. I wont let you do that." He was slowly advancing on the frightened man. "If you ever put Asuka into that kind of danger ever again, I swear to god that I will kill you with my bare hands." By this time he had reached the man and, almost as if to emphasize his point he dropped the gun pulled back his arm and punched the Commander in the face.  
  
"Shinji stop!" They all jumped as the words rang out in the room and they turned to see Asuka standing in the doorway. The wild insane fire in Shinjis eyes died away as he saw her standing there.  
  
"Asuka?" he said, dumbfounded. "Y-You-You're okay?" he asked as he started to stumble towards her. She smiled at him reassuringly.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." she said.  
  
"Asuka I...I lo...." he never finished what he was saying because at that moment his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped to the floor.  
  
"Shinji!" Asuka screamed, running forward to catch him. His weight carried her to the floor and she sat there with his head cradled in her lap, until the medical staff arrived. They injected Shinji with another sedative and carried him back to the infirmary while someone else helped the Commander to the operating room for the bullet that was currently lodged into his shoulder.  
  
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Shinij was dreaming. He was standing on a barren wasteland that he recognized as once having been the proud city of Toyo-3. He looked around him in the dark. All of the building were destroyed. All that was left were the skeletal remains of a few of the larger ones. Then he heard it. It started as a whisper.  
  
"Shinji..." he looked around him fearfully. "Shinji... You failed us." There was a shadow off to his right. It slowly moved towards him resolving itself into the figure of a person.  
  
"Asuka!" he shouted in joy. He began to run towards her. When he came within twenty feet of her he got a good look at her and screeched to a halt. She was dead. Her skin was pale and her hair was filthy and ragged. Her once vibrant eyes were now dead and lifeless but what was perhaps the most horrifying part was the fact the she had slashes across both of her wrist.   
  
They had long since bled dry and were now nothing more than open flaps of flesh.  
  
"You didn't save me. That angel raped my mind and drove me to kill myself. You failed me. You failed everybody. We are all dead!" She ended it with a shout and suddenly the darkness lifted revealing a huge field littered with dead bodies, and as he watched in increasing horror they started to move. They got up and began to creep towards him.  
  
Misato, there was a bullet hole in her head and he could see through it to the other side. Kensuke was carrying his camera in one hand and his severed head in the other. Toji was dragging himself along the ground with a knife sticking out of his back, still missing one arm and one leg from his fight in the doomed Evangelion Unit 03.   
  
They all began to chant that he had failed them and that is why they were dead. They grabbed him and began to pull his body apart piece by piece, all the while ignoring his screams.  
  
Behind the lot of them, floating in the air he could see Unit 01. It was surrounded by nine white evas and it had been impaled by nine weird looking spears. (Come to think of it they looked like that spear Rei had tried to use on the 15th angel.) The floating group slowly approached a gigantic naked Rei Ayanami.  
  
He saw Unit 01 be absorbed into the giant Rei and then everything exploded. A huge shock wave was slowly approaching him. Then his attention was returned to the walking corpses that surrounded him.   
  
"Shinji!" The voice intruded on his nightmare. "Shinji you have to wake up."  
  
"No." he moaned, looking at the ghastly faces around him. "I didn't fail you. There was nothing I could do. No. No. NOOO!!!!!" He screamed and sat up in bed. Suddenly strong arms were wrapped around him. He looked to see a very pale Asuka sitting next to him and the memory of the dream came back. "No!" he screamed and scrambled away from her as fast as he could. He crashed into the wall and finally got out the door before he ran straight into Misato.  
  
"Shinji what's wrong?" Asuka yelled. He had collapsed to the floor.  
  
"No," he mumbled. "No, please, you're dead, but I didn't fail you. I didn't." Asuka and Misato looked at each other over the shivering boy. Asuka crouched down and reached for him. He tried to jerk away from her but she grabbed his head in both hands and pulled him to her. She pressed his ear against her chest.  
  
"Do you hear that Shinji?" she asked him. "That's my heart beating. I'm not dead. See? I am very much alive." He slowly pulled back from her. As the shock wore off he realized that it had all been a dream.  
  
"I was standing in the city. You were dead. You were all dead but you were talking to me telling me I failed you. Then they all started to rip me apart ." he collapsed against her sobbing uncontrollably. Even though he was currently beyond the capability of rational thought, something stopped him from mentioning the giant Rei, and within a few minutes he had forgotten all about it.  
  
"Shinji it's OK it was just a nightmare." Asuka said as she held him close to her. Misato turned and went into the kitchen to get a beer. He looked around and realized he was at the apartment. When did I get here? He thought to himself. Then he remembered. They had moved him here to weeks ago. His father had not had him put in prison for shooting him because Shinji claimed to have no memory of the attack. Ritsuko said it may have been due to stress caused by the angels attack. "It's OK, my Shinji." Asuka said soothingly, rocking him gently and stroking his hair. What do I feel for this boy? she asked herself. why do I have this sudden urged to kiss him and comfort him? She mentally shook herself.  
  
"I'm going to go take my shower." Shinji said as he slowly stood up. Asuka smiled at him. He nodded his head to her and slowly made his way to the bathroom. Looking at her watch Asuka realized that it was only 4:30 in the morning.  
  
"He is so gentle." Asuka murmured to herself. "But he fought his way out of the cage, and to the surface just to help me. Why? Why did you do that Shinji?" A shadow fell over her and Asuka looked up at Misato.  
  
"We need to talk Asuka." she said. She helped the girl to her feet and the two of them sat down at the kitchen table. Misato looked at Asuka for a few minutes and then finally spoke. "Asuka I want you to know that Shinji and I are both very grateful for the change in your behavior towards him these past weeks.."  
  
"Thank you Misato..."  
  
"I'm not finished yet!" Misato shouted cutting the red head off. "We are both grateful for it, but I want to make one thing perfectly clear to you. Shinji put himself through hell to save you. You know what that angels attack did, he told you what he had to do to counter it. Right now he is an emotional wreck." Misato glared at the young pilot. "I have to ask you something but first I want to make sure you understand something. Shinji means a great deal to me, and so do you. But if I discover that this change in you is just for a while, and that as soon as he is better you are going to go right back to ridiculing him and torturing him, then I swear right now to god that I will make you curse the day you were born!" Misato was glaring at her and Asuka shrank back under that glare.  
  
Misato was by this point leaning over the table her face an inch from Asukas. She leaned back in her seat and took a swig of her beer. "Now you are going to answer a question for me." she said evenly. "Do you love him?" Asuka sat quietly for a few minutes, collecting her thoughts. Then when she did speak her voice was so quiet that Misato had to lean forward to catch the first few words.  
  
"Power of Pain." Asuka whispered. She raised her head to look directly into Misato's eyes. Misato was shocked to see tears running freely down the girls cheeks. "You are right. Shinji did tell me what he had to do in order to save me. When he subjected himself to that angels attack, he discovered how to beat it. He said that he locked away all of his most painful memories so that the angel couldn't get at them.  
  
"Then at the right moment he forced himself to recall all those memories, making the angel feel the pain that they caused, through Shinji. That resulted in the angels destruction. He was strong in the face of his own pain while all I could do was cry. He used his own pain to save my life, he almost sacrificed his own sanity for me. After all I did to him." She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands.  
  
"Then came his love. The power of love. When he woke in the entry plug he was in a rage, I could hear him screaming over the intercom. When I visited him in the infirmary he said that he had been worried about me. All he could think of was getting to me and seeing if I was all right. He attacked the rescue crew trying to get to me." Misato nodded. She remembered with a slight chill the rage that had filled his voice as it came over the speakers in the Command Center. He had been pissed.  
  
"Yeah he was very angry." Misato said.  
  
"Why? After all I did to him how could he possibly love me?" Asuka was beginning to cry again. "To answer your question I am not entirely sure if I love him or not. I mean one minute I want to scream at him for being a little wuss and always backing down from everything, even when I know he doesn't do that. Then the next minute I want to take him into my arms and kiss him. But I am trying to sort out my feelings. I am trying to be patient. Every time I hear him scream at night it's all I can do not to cry. Each time I hear him in pain, my heart seems to reach out to him and a little part of me dies." She slumped down in her chair and began to cry uncontrollably.  
  
Asuka suddenly felt strong arms wrap around her and hold her tightly, and a soothing voice in her ear.  
  
"It's OK Asuka." Misato said as she took the weeping girl into her arms.  
  
"What's happening to me?" Asuka asked, her voice cracking. She felt Misato release her than felt arms around her again in a slightly more comfortable position. For the next few minutes Asuka cried quietly. She wiped her eyes and looked up to see Misato sitting across the table from her. "Huh?" She asked. If Misato is over there,... than... who is... Asuka slowly turned and found herself staring directly into a pair of dark blue eyes.  
  
"Shinji!" Asuka yelled. She threw her arms around his neck and started to cry again. She buried her face into his chest and clung to him tightly. Shinji looked over her head at Misato.  
  
"I don't think we'll be going to school today Misato." he said. Misato simply nodded.  
  
"I'll go change and then I'll get out of here. It seems like the two of you have a lot to talk about." she turned to leave, then stopped. "Shinji just out of curiosity how long were you standing there listening to us?"  
  
"For a while. I heard you yell at her and I ran out here to try to calm things down. I stopped just inside the hallway and I heard everything." She nodded and then went to her room. Shinji looked down at the sobbing girl he held in his arms and slowly managed to extricate himself from the death grip that she had on him. She looked at him uncertainly but relaxed when he smiled at her.  
  
"What is it?" she asked him. He never stopped smiling.  
  
"Nothing but if we are going to have this little talk don't you think that I should at least put some clothes on?" She blinked and then looked down at him, just realizing that he was naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist and he was still wet from his shower. She nodded and let him lead her to the couch then he went to his own room and quickly dressed.   
  
Back in the living room he sat on the couch next to Asuka and they waited. A few minutes later Misato walked passed them. But she stopped at the door.  
  
"Shinji." she said. "Be kind to her." he nodded. With that Misato left for work two and a half hours early.  
  
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Shinji and Asuka sat in silence on the couch. For several minutes they continued to sit in silence, Asuka trying to stop her flood of tears and Shinji collecting his thoughts. Finally Shinji opened his mouth to speak, but Asuka beat him to it.  
  
"Shinji you remember how I always teased you for no reason?" He nodded. "Well there was a reason to it." she paused to dab at her eyes with a tissue, then continued. "I think that the first time I realized that I was falling for you, was when I fought the Eighth angel. Do you remember? The one in the volcano? You jumped in against orders and with no armor to save me, and that's when it hit me.  
  
"Asuka I-"  
  
"Let me finish. I have to say this. That is why I always teased you. I loved the Shinji Ikari that strode into battle like a vengeful god. The one that leaped into an active volcano with no armor to save the life of his team mate. Whenever a plan started to fall apart you always appeared out of nowhere and saved the day. I hated seeing you suffer in the Eva. I hated your meek attitude whenever you weren't in the Eva. I wanted to hate your father for doing that to you."  
  
"But I knew that if it wasn't for that bastard, than I probably never would have seen that side of you. I hated that he did it. I wanted to be the one to bring that Shinji out of you. The hero that lurks beneath the surface. When you were swallowed by the Twelfth angel I wanted to scream. Then when you broke free.... it was the most horrifying thing that I have ever seen in my life. All I could think of was that I was piloting something just like that. I was in a barely controlled monster. Then I was scared because I realized that my Shinji was inside that rampaging beast." During her long speech Asukas tears had begun to flow again.  
  
"Asuka stop it." Shinji ordered firmly. He moved across the couch towards her and gently took her hand in his. He stared deeply into her eyes. "God you are beautiful." he murmured quietly. Then he seemed to shake himself and his eyes hardened with a determined expression.  
  
"Asuka listen to me. I don't need to know why you feel that you love me. All I needed to know today was if your feelings were real, or if it was just another joke to you." He reached out and gently pulled her into him, until she was leaning back against his chest. With his free hand he gently stroked her hair.  
  
"Asuka I love you. With all my heart and soul. My body burns for your touch every day. Whenever I let my thoughts wander I am thinking of you. I took all your teasing because it was another way for me to hear your voice. It hurt me but I accepted it. I can't live without you." He paused and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments before continuing.  
  
"Do you remember when we talked about why we pilot Eva?" he asked her.  
  
"Yes." She had stopped crying and her voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she felt herself being calmed by his gentle touch.  
  
"I said that I didn't know why I piloted the damn thing. Well now I know why. It was to have a reason to be around you. I did the one thing that I hated more than anything else in the world so I could be near you. Now I have a new purpose. After witnessing that last attack I have to pilot to protect you, and everyone else that I loved. But you most of all."  
  
She turned in his arms. This boy felt that he had to protect her? He risked his life for her? He watched as her eyes slowly filled his vision. Such clear startlingly blue eyes. Then their lips made contact. She slowly melted into his embrace as his arms encircled her, and he returned the kiss.  
  
It was a beautiful kiss. Not a hard or passionate one. But a soft, gentle kiss. There was a lightness to it that lifted their hearts to the heavens. The world disappeared around them as their two hearts began to beat in unison as one.  
  
An eternity later they broke and gazed into each others eyes.   
  
"Not bad Third Child." She murmured to him. He laughed softly.  
  
"At least I could breath during that one." He said  
  
Asuka laid her head down on his chest where she was soon lulled to sleep by the rhythmic beating of his heart. Her tears had ceased and Shinji soon followed her into the most restful and nightmare free sleep that he had enjoyed since his arrival in Tokyo-3  
  
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Dr. Ritsuko Akagi entered NERV Central Command in the early morning hours to find Major Katsuragi asleep at one of the control panels.  
  
"Misato, what are you doing here so early?" she asked after she had shaken her awake.  
  
"I had to leave the house early." Misato said as she yawned and stretched. "Asuka admitted that she was in love with Shinji this morning and the two of them are talking at home. The deserved a little privacy so I left. This was the only place I could go, what time is it anyway?"  
  
"About 7:00 a.m." Ritsuko said, looking at her watch.  
  
"Damn, I've been here over two hours." Misato grumbled. She walked over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup.  
  
"Why were you up so early anyway Misato?" Ritsuko asked her.  
  
"Shinji had another nightmare. I think he was affected more deeply by both the Twelfth and Fifteenth angels then he would care to admit, even to himself. He wakes up every night screaming." Misato picked up her cup and took a sip. "I should get to work." Misato said. She turned and went to her office and the waiting pile of reports that she was supposed to read.  
  
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Shinji woke slowly. His right arm seemed numb and there was a weight on his chest. Slowly as his eyes came into focus he realized that he was on the living room couch. He tried to move his right arm but it wouldn't respond, which led him to believe that the circulation had been cut off for quite some time.  
  
"Hmmm....Shinji." As these whispered words reach his ears Shinjis eyes widened he looked down only to find himself lost in a pair of dazzling blue eyes.  
  
"Hey Asuka." he said she was leaning against his chest and had his arm pinned under her body. He stroked her hair with his free hand and gently tilted her head up for a kiss.  
  
"I'm going to go take a bath." she said as she got up and unsteadily made her way towards the bathroom. Shinji slowly sat up working some of the feeling back into his arm.  
  
I'd better go make breakfast he thought to himself. She's gonna be hungry when she gets out of there.  
  
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In the bathroom Asuka is relaxing in the tub. She sighs as she sinks down into the warm water. I have to be strong. she thinks Shinji may want to protect me but I need to return the favor. She finishes her bath and goes to her room to get dressed  
  
The pleasant smells of breakfast soon reach her and she smiles happily. Despite her thin figure Asuka had a very healthy appetite. She leaves her room to find Shinji standing at the stove with a pan on the fire.  
  
"Hey Shinji, what are you making?" she asks.   
  
"Just some soup, and a little surprise." he says as he looks back at her. He winks at her and Asuka is momentarily startled. Shinji is not acting like himself today. she thinks. He's actually acting a bit like....me! Shinji turns from the stove bringing a bowl of soup to the table. Asuka sees that there is only enough soup there for one person.  
  
Before she can voice this opinion however he turns back to the stove for a moment and then returns with a plate full of eggs, sausage, and fried potatoes. She looks at the plate in shock as he sets it down in front of her.  
  
"What's this?" she asks.  
  
"Well you kept complaining about Japanese food so I though that maybe you would appreciate a little taste of the west." he paused. "But if you don't want it then I guess I could always throw it out." He moves to take away the plate. Asuka holds up one arm to stop him,  
  
"Don't you dare third child." She growls at him. "I never said I wasn't going to eat it." she glowered at him and Shinji burst into gales of laughter. Asuka is to say the least very confused. "What's so funny?" she asks.  
  
"Oh.... I.. I'm sorry but you should have seen your face right then. It was priceless." Shinji laughed as he wiped a few tears from his eyes. "Now I see why you always liked to tease me so much. Ow!" he cried out in pain as Asuka punched him in the shoulder, but he kept laughing. Asuka couldn't help but smile at him. They sat down and continued their meal after Shinji had calmed down enough.  
  
"WAARRKK!" Asuka jumped, and looked down to see Pen-Pen.  
  
"Is he hungry?" Shinji asked. He went back into the kitchen for a moment and came out with a plate piled high with fish. Once set down on the floor Pen-Pen began to eagerly gobble down the fish.  
  
"So what do you want to do today?" Asuka asked as they returned to their meal. He chewed thoughtfully for a few minutes before answering.  
  
"Well since there's really not much else to do, why don't we just go for a walk and see what happens?" he suggested.  
  
"Yeah. We can go to the park and have a picnic." The finished the rest of the meal in silence. Later, after Shinji had finished the dishes, he began to make a small lunch for them to take with them. Then as an afterthought he called out:  
  
"Asuka, don't forget your swimsuit!"  
  
"Okay!" she yelled from her room. She grabbed her suit and shoved it into her back pack.  
  
Later as they were walking through the streets Asuka decided to try something. Since she and Shinji were sort of going out now she guessed that it was time for her to try and be a bit nicer. She hesitantly wrapped one arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder.  
  
At the first contact he had stiffened a little but after a few moments he realized that he actually kind of liked this, so he relaxed and they continued to walk in silence.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why didn't we ever do this before? I like it."  
  
"I think it was because neither of us were ready to commit to our love for each other. My reason was because I was afraid of great bodily harm if I were to say anything to you about it. Did you know that it was you who gave me the strength to break free of the twelfth angel?" she shook her head silently.  
  
"I was floating in that angel, and it was getting cold. I don't think I've aver felt that helpless in my life." She raised her head to look at him. There was a distant almost hollow look of fear in his eyes, that sent a shiver down her spine.  
  
"I think I started to hallucinate. I saw you and Rei lying on a beach, dead. Out in the ocean were a half-dozen white Evas. I could feel that I was dying but I had to see you. All of you, one more time before I died." he looked deeply into her eyes and stopped walking, pulling her into a tight embrace.  
  
"I am ready to die." he said. "I don't want to die, but I am no longer afraid of it. I mustn't run away. No. I will not run away, ever again." He tilted her head up and kissed her with a passion that neither had ever before experienced in their lives.  
  
Asuka could feel her body burning for him. She held him tighter as if she were trying to merge her body with his. His touch on her body left her gasping and breathless with her need for him. She moaned softly into the kiss and he held her even tighter, pressing the length of her body into him.  
  
Eventually they came up for air. Shinji was immediately embarrassed by his reaction to such a simple thing as a kiss.  
  
"I...I'm sorry Asuka." He stammered, taking a step away from her. "I didn't mean to..."  
  
"There you go with the apologies again. Do you actually think that that kiss bothered me?" She was back in full Asuka mode, one hand on her hip, her head cocked slightly to one side. "I kissed you back remember. And besides it was....very.....pleasant." she said groping for the right words.  
  
"It was definitely intense." Shinji agreed. Asuka smiled and took his hand.  
  
"It was at that." With that they continued their walk and soon came to a beautiful secluded lake out in the woods, near the outskirts of the city.  
  
"Oh wow! Shinji it's wonderful! How did you ever find this place?" she asked as she laid out a blanket on the ground.  
  
"Well before you got here, right after the fourth angel attack, I ran away for a couple of days. I think I always planned on going back but I just had to think and get out for a while, you know clear my head. On the second day I came across this lake and I stopped here for a while. It was very peaceful and at the time that was exactly what I needed."  
  
He laid back on the blanket and looked up at the clouds drifting by above him. Asuka sat down next to him and laid her head down on his chest. He could smell the L.C.L from the entry plug and the shampoo in her hair. The two scents mingled and he took a deep breath. He sighed as he let it out and closed his eyes.  
  
Asuka listened to his heart beating and the slow rhythm of his breathing and realized that he had fallen asleep. He isn't really weak. she thought. He is strong, but it is his gentle nature that rules his actions.  
  
She sat up and stared down at him. He's so kind that the violence of the Eva is tearing him apart. She decided not to dwell on such gloomy matters. Digging her swimsuit out of her bag she quickly slipped off the yellow sundress and put the suit on. After one last lingering glance at his sleeping face she turned and went down to the lake for a swim.  
  
____________________  
  
The room is quite large. At one end of the room sits a rather large desk. Behind that desk sits Gendo Ikari, Commander of NERV.  
  
"Rei." he says. Rei Ayanami is standing behind him.  
  
"Yes." she says in a small monotone.  
  
"The third child is changing is he not?" The commanders voice is cold and devoid of any emotion. He gently touches the bandages on his left shoulder where Shinji had shot him two weeks before.  
  
"Yes." she said again.  
  
"He must not know happiness. I regret having to do this but we need him to be in a certain frame of mind for the tasks that are before him. We may need to eliminate the second child." He smiled a frightening enough occurrence on a normal day but considering the direction the conversation had turned to it was now near to terrifying.  
  
"Yes." Rei whispered. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Rei felt her heart break within her.  
  
  
  
End.  
  
Well I think that about wraps it up. This is my first fic so go easy on me. I would appreciate any comments you might have. Now you may have noticed that this was a VERY WAFFy fic. There is a reason for that. The next installment has a slightly smaller amount of WAFF in it. All others after words go straight down the toilet. So this was just to fatten you up for the lean times ahead.   
  
Also all you Shinji/Rei fans, will probably be mad at me and all ready are since this is obviously not a Shinji/Rei fic. All you Shinji/Asuka fans. Even though you are probably right now thinking 'Oh cool. We got a good Shinji and Asuka love fic goin here.' Well you're partially right. It is about their love but I can guarantee that by part four (which I have all ready written) you will all be screaming for my head on a pike.  
  
In the next installment. What does the commander have planned for Asuka? Will Shinji stop him? Will we ever actually see any of Shinjis friends? You'll have to wait for the next installment Rei's Warning, to find out.   
  
Until next time......  
See you on the other side.  
  
I can be reached at shinjikatsuragi@hotmail.com. Please title the subject as power of commitment so I don't accidentally delete it. thank you.  
  
  
  
  
Power of Commitment.  
written by  
Ryan T. Nelson  
  
  
  
Thanks to my pre-readers.  
  
Kwame. (That's my girlfriend. ^_^)  
  
Elsa  
  
Joanna  



	2. Rei's Warning

  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors notes: OK so here it is. Power of Commitment: Part Two. All right for those of you who actually read my last fic Power of Commitment: Part One, I respectfully say Arigato. (That is only for the people who read it ON PURPOSE.) For the rest of you just thanks no respect in it. ^_^. You'll have to excuse me; I'm completely insane according to my girlfriend, and everyone else that I know for that matter.  
  
Anyway on with the notes. OK in the last fic Shinji and Asuka shared some fairly intense and revealing moments about their hidden love for each other. In this installment Rei is going to go through a few changes of her own.   
If you paid any attention at all to the last installment you will know that Commander Ikari has some plan up his sleeve to "eliminate" Asuka so Shinji will be depressed around the time of the destruction of Tabris and his merger with Lilith.   
  
All right I'm done spoiling the story for you read on ladies and gentlemen...  
  
Oh wait sorry one more thing. This fiction is titled   
Power of Commitment Part Two: Reis' Warning  
However I do not have a title for part one really. It's just part one. So I am holding a contest. Anyone who has read my previous fic and has an Idea for a title can email me with there suggestion. I will pick the one that I like the best and Have it added onto the other Story if at all possible. Thank you, now on with the part you all came here for.  
  
____________________Power of Commitment Part Two: Reis' Warning  
  
Shinjis' eyes slowly opened. He shook his head softly trying to get his sleep- blurred vision to clear. His eyes finally focused and Shinji found himself staring at a huge face!  
  
"Aaahhhhh!" he screamed scrambling backwards as fast as he could until his head hit the wall behind him. The face smiled, showing a set of small white teeth.  
  
"Oh good, you're finally awake." Asuka said as she sat down next to him on his bed.  
"Asuka don't do that!" He almost screamed at her.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.  
  
"Oh not much unless of course you consider the fact that you just scared me out of ten years of growth." She frowned. Then a frightening expression played across her face. The closest description that Shinji could apply to it was much like the look of a hungry wolf right before it pounced on a three-legged deer.  
  
And indeed Asuka did pounce, on Shinji! She flew forward and sealed her open mouth over his in a blazing kiss that left him seeing stars and gasping for breath. She leaned against him and gently traced little circles on his chest with her fingers.  
  
"Come on," she coaxed. "Get up. We have the whole day ahead of us. And we need to get to school." He grumbled a little bit but finally he got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.  
  
On his way out he heard voices coming from the kitchen. So he headed that way. But something made him stop, just around the corner so they wouldn't see him.  
  
"Has he had anymore nightmares?" Misato asked.  
  
"Not really. Well at least he hasn't woken up screaming once in the past few weeks, but he still tosses and turns all night." Asuka replied with a hint of sadness in her voice.  
  
"And just how would you know that he is tossing around all night?" Misato asked, teasing the young girl. Shinji did not hear the mumbled reply. But he did hear Misatos reaction to it. "You're doing what?!" she screamed.  
  
"Shhh," Asuka hissed. "He'll hear you!" There was a moment of silence. "I've been sleeping in his room." Asuka admitted. "Two weeks ago he had the nightmare again. That one with all of us dead. He kept mumbling that he hadn't failed anyone. I went into his room and just held him in my arms and he calmed down pretty quickly."  
  
"Since then I've been sleeping on the floor in his room, next to his bed. That's why I've been there to wake him up every morning." Shinji quickly turned and tiptoed back to his room to change. When he was ready he came out of the room and shut the door hard behind him so they would hear.  
  
"Hey baka we're going to be late." Asuka called from the kitchen. He walked in picked up his bag and had just enough time to shout goodbye to Misato before Asuka had pulled him out of the apartment.  
  
After they had left Misato looked down at PenPen. He looked up at her.  
  
"I'm really worried about those two." She said.  
  
"WWAAARRRR!" he replied. Misato smiled as she patted him on the head then headed to her room to get dressed for work.  
  
____________________  
  
As usual the walk to school was quiet and uneventful. Once again Asuka had one arm wrapped around Shinjis' waist and her head was leaning on his shoulder. Every once in a while she let out a little sigh of contentment.  
  
Shinji looked down at her and marveled at the many changes in his hot-blooded girlfriend. It had been three weeks since the day they had walked to the lake. Since that day Asuka had slowly changed. She was now calmer and she had slowly become less angry at the world. She was becoming more patient with the people around her.  
  
It even took her longer to lose her patience with Touji and Kensuke, which was an event in and of itself. As they neared the school they silently parted and continued walking a few feet away from each other.  
  
They had agreed to keep their relationship a secret from their friends for the time being. They didn't think that they would approve of the two of them going out. A few minutes later they entered the classroom to find Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari sitting in a circle having a heated discussion, The conversation died down as Shinji and Asuka approached.  
  
"What's up gang?" Shinji asked as he sat down at one of the desks. The three of them looked at each other in silence for a moment. Finally Kesuke spoke up.  
  
"Uhh, Shinji? Do you mind if we ask you a question?" Kensuke said. It was obvious that he was nervous.   
  
"Go ahead." Shinji replied after a moment's hesitation.  
  
"Well," Kensuke paused to clear his voice. "We all know that there have been some major changes around here lately." Shinjis eyes fell on Touji's wheelchair and the stumps of his missing arm and leg.  
  
"Yes there have been." Shinji whispered his voice an odd mixture of anger and sadness.  
  
"Ahh....yes." Kensuke began again. "Well we've all seen some changes in the way you and Asuka have been acting. Well we were kinda wondering.... That is we were curious to see if....." Kensuke trailed off as he scrambled to find the right words to express his thoughts  
  
"Oh just spit it out already!" Asuka snapped at him, her patience finally wearing thin. Kesuke drew back a bit at the outburst. Then he nodded took a deep breath and let it all out in a rush.  
  
"We were wondering if you and Asuka were dating." He said. Shinji turned his head to look at Asuka. Their eyes met, one pair, a deep, dark blue, like the ocean, the other as clear and sharp as ice. Asuka leaned over and whispered in Shinjis ear.  
  
"Why don't we just tell them now and get it over with. We know they'll all be against the idea, so we may as well tell them." Shinji pondered this idea for a few minutes and then finally nodded his head in agreement.  
  
With his decision made Shinji decided to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. His right arm snaked out from his side and settled gently around Asukas waist. He held her softly but with an evident strength, as if he was prepared to fight the first person that was foolish enough to try and remove her from his embrace.  
  
Shinji gently pulled her towards him and their lips met in a tender, loving kiss. They held the kiss for over a minute, their tongues exploring the inside of the others mouth. When they parted they were surprised to hear their friends burst into applause.  
  
"Huh?" Shinji said as he looked on at his friends smiling faces in utter disbelief.  
  
"I second that." Asuka said in as equal a state of shock as Shinji was.  
  
"Way to go you two!" Hikari said.   
  
"You guys aren't opposed to us being together?" Shinji asked still not quite understanding what was going on.  
  
"No why should we be?" Kensuke asked.  
  
"Well you and Touji are always calling Asuka the red devil. And she is always insulting the two of you. I thought you would strongly protest our relationship." Toujis' face was split by an ear to ear grin.  
  
"I'll admit that Ken and I haven't always gotten along with Asuka but we've all seen how you two look at each other when you thought that the other wasn't. We've had a bet going to see how long it would take the two of you to realize how much you love each other."  
  
"Yeah," Hikari said. "You two are perfect for each other."  
  
"How do you mean?"  
  
"Well, Asuka. You posses many of the stronger qualities that Shinji sometimes lacks. You are brave, courageous, daring, and one of the most stubborn people that I have ever met."  
  
"Shinji. You have all of the softer ones that Asuka so desperately needs. You are quiet, intelligent, calm, gentle, and most importantly, you know how to handle some things almost as if by instinct."  
  
Asuka immediately jumped to her own defense.  
  
"Hey! I'm not that bad!" she said. Hikari looked at her with a level gaze.  
  
"Really? Let's see. Answer one question for me Asuka. Lately you have been nicer to everyone around you then I have ever seen you. Now is your relationship with Shinji directly related to this sudden change?" Shinji smiled. He knew Hikari had Asuka with that one.   
  
Asukas answer was mumbled and so low that even Shinji could not hear it.  
  
"What was that?" Hikari asked in a pleasant tone.  
  
"YES!" Asuka shouted. "Yes it is."  
  
"Explain." Hikari was by now grinning broadly. She loved having Asuka in the hot seat for a change and she intended to enjoy every minute of it.  
  
"I'm in love." Asuka stated simply. Her voice was low so that it would not carry beyond the extent of their little circle. "I'm in love with Shinji. Since I finally admitted it to myself I've just been happier then I have been in a long time."  
  
"Asuka." Shinji voice reached her ears. He had been startled to hear her express her feelings so openly, and he had loved hearing her say them. The knowledge that she loved him so much had a profound effect on the young boy.  
  
Once again they drew together in a soft, yet firm kiss. Their friends could sense the love that the two shared for each other. As the kiss extended into it's second minute they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.  
  
The looked up to see the Sensei standing next to them. Both blushed and quickly tried to stammer out an apology of some kind. The elderly gentlemen laughed and raised his hands in a quieting gesture.  
  
"It's quite all right," he said. "I'm actually pleased to see that two young people can still find love in these troubled times. But for right now I think you should stop so that we can get on with the days lessons." As he finished the entire class burst into applause. Shinji blushed. Asuka was enjoying the attention. Class started, and everyone's good mood quickly dwindled down to a feeling of absolute boredom.  
  
____________________   
  
"Shinji?" Asuka asked. Shinji was sitting in the schoolyard with his back against a tree. Asuka was lying across his lap and he had his arms held loosely around her.  
  
"Hmm...?" he mumbled, not opening his eyes. She looked up at him and was pleased to see a peaceful look of contentment on his face. She hesitated for a moment.  
  
"Where do you think this relationship is going?" she asked. His brow furrowed. The question had been unexpected. Not just because she had asked it out of the blue like that, but more so because that was exactly what he had been contemplating a few minutes ago.  
  
"I'm not exactly sure Asuka." He opened his eyes and looked down at her. "I can't deny that there isn't a strong physical attraction to you. I mean, you are one of the prettiest girls in the school, practically the whole city when you come right down to it." He looked on with satisfaction as her cheeks turned bright red at the compliment.  
  
"I'm attracted to you too." She said. It was true. From the time of their synch training she had felt a strong attraction to him. But she had suppressed it by telling herself that she didn't like him, that he was nothing but a weak little boy.  
  
But eventually she had come to know the man inside the boy and that attraction went beyond physical compatibility, to an almost painful urge to have his hands on her body.  
  
She found herself wanting him to touch her in ways she would never have allowed anyone to touch her before....   
  
"Asuka?" Shinjis voice snapped her out of her musings.  
  
"Huh?.... What?.... Oh sorry. What were you saying?"  
  
"I was saying that even though we may want to take this relationship to the next level, we shouldn't plan on it. We should just see what happens. I don't want this turning into a purely physical relationship. We'll know when the time is right." She looked up at him. He had closed his eyes again and that peaceful expression was in sharp contrast to his usual haunted look.  
  
"You're right Shinji. We'll wait." She sat up and wrapped her arms around him, leaning into his chest, and there they sat for the rest of the lunch period.  
  
____________________   
  
Once again we find ourselves in the office of one Gendo Ikari. The Commander is speaking to someone on a telephone, his voice echoes hollowly in the large room.  
  
"Yes." He said. "The Second Child is to be eliminated. I don't care how you do it as long as it can not be linked back to me." He listens for a moment. "Yes. The Third is getting out of hand. He needs to have lost all hope for the tasks that are before him." Another moments pause. "Very well. Goodbye." He hangs up the phone and automatically tries to settle back into his trademark position.  
  
He winces as a surge of pain runs through his left shoulder. His arm is tightly bound to his chest beneath his clothes. His shoulder, the doctors told him, would never be the same again. The bullet had completely shattered the joint permanently cutting off all mobility. So he was, in effect, now only equipped with one usable arm.  
  
The doctors had scheduled another operation to try and remove the remainder of the bone and maybe consider replacing it with a prosthetic joint. The operation was to begin soon.  
  
____________________   
  
At school lunch is over, and Rei Ayanami is confused. She is sitting at her desk staring out the window as usual. But she believes that she is feeling apprehensive about the Commanders plans considering the Second Child. But, because she has had little experience with emotions she does not know how to deal with it.  
  
Now she turns away from the window. Her blood red eyes slowly scan the room until they settle on the cause of her confusion; the redheaded pilot of Evangelion Unit 2, Asuka Langley Sohryu.   
  
Asuka was leaning over her desk half asleep, listening to their Sensei lecture about Second Impact. After studying her for a few minutes, Rei turned her attention to the pilots' boyfriend. Shinji was a bit more awake than Asuka was so he soon sensed that someone was watching him.  
  
He scanned the room and soon saw Rei staring at him. He smiled. She turned and typed out a message on her laptop.  
  
Rei: Pilot Ikari. I wish to speak with you and Pilot Sohryu after the end of classes today. She pushed send.   
  
____________________   
  
Sitting at his desk Shinji was surprised to find Rei studying him. He was even more surprised when she turned and began to type something at her computer. After all this he almost fell out of his seat when his computer informed him that she had sent him a message.  
  
He quickly read the message. When he had finished he looked up to find Rei staring at him again. He thought for a minute before slowly nodding his head.  
  
Rei turned back to look out the window  
  
____________________   
  
When the final bell rang Shinji and Rei stayed in their seats, waiting for the rest of the class to leave. As the last one filed out the door Rei stood and walked over to Shinji and Asuka.  
  
"What do want Wondergirl?" Asuka snapped. Even though she was being nicer to every one else Asuka still held a deep-rooted hatred for the blue hared albino.   
  
"Asuka!" Asuka took a step back in fear. Shinji had never raised his voice to her before. The commanding tone on his voice reminded her of Commander Ikari. But there had been an undertone of seething anger.  
  
Shinji slowly rose to his feet. He turned to look at Rei.  
  
"You wanted to talk to us?" he asked. She nodded silently. "It is important?" She nodded again. The unease that he had felt when he first read her cryptic message had been bothering him all day and he was short of temper. "It involves my father?" he spat out the words.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Let's take a walk." He turned and left the classroom. Rei followed him, and a confused Asuka followed Rei. Once exiting the school Shinji turned towards the outskirts of the city. As they neared the ends of the populated section of the city Rei spoke.  
  
"Pilot Ikari, you love Pilot Sohryu do you not?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Pilot Sohryu, you love Pilot Ikari?"  
  
"Yes." Rei suddenly stopped walking.  
  
"I do not understand love, but you are the only one who has ever tried to be my friend Ikari-kun. I do not understand my own feelings for you, but I believe that what the commander is planning is wrong." Shinji and Asuka looked at each other. This was an incredibly long speech for the normally quiet girl. And for her to be saying anything negative about the Commander was unheard of.  
  
"Rei what are you trying to tell us?" Shinji asked.  
  
"First understand that I am not telling you this for Pilot Sohryus benefit, I am doing this for you Ikari-kun." Asuka lost it. She was enraged at Reis seemingly uncaring attitude. But she was more upset at what appeared to be Rei hitting on her boyfriend.  
  
"You BITCH!" she screamed. She swung her fist at Rei. She felt and heard the smack as her fist made contact.... With Shinjis palm. He had stepped forward and caught her fist an inch away from Reis face.  
  
Now his arm trembled as he strained to hold her back.  
  
"Asuka." His voice was much gentler this time and it had a greater effect on her than if he had shouted. "Let me handle this." She looked at him.  
  
"Do you remember what Hikari said. There are some situations that I just seem to know how to handle. I believe that this is one of those situations." He released her hand, and she slowly lowered it to her side. After a moment she nodded.   
  
"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" He asked turning back to Rei.  
  
____________________   
  
Rei had watched the entire scene with no change in her expression. She hadn't even blinked when Shinji narrowly caught Asukas fist. Now that Shinji had turned his attention back to her she began to speak.  
  
"As I said I do not understand my feelings for you, but I believe I may care for you. As such I would not like to see you in pain. Pilot Sohryus death would cause you such pain would it not?" Shinji paled visibly at the thought of Asuka dying. That sense of unease he had felt earlier was turning to one of fear.  
  
"Yes it would cause me much pain." He said his voice echoing the fear that he felt. Asukas eyes darted back and forth between the man the she loved and her greatest enemy.   
  
"Then I would like to warn you that the Commander plans to have Pilot Sohryu eliminated." Shinjis hiss of indrawn breath was incredibly loud in the sudden silence.  
  
"What?" he said, his voice going up several decibels. His right hand was clenching and unclenching in an unconscious nervous tick. Asuka reached out to cover his hand with her own.  
  
"He plans to have her eliminated. But the man who was hired to kill her may not do so if you are near. The risk is still great but now you know to be careful." Without waiting for a reply she turned and started to walk away.  
  
"Rei wait!" Shinji called after her. She stopped and turned back to look at him. "Why would my father want Asuka dead?" he asked.  
  
"I am not at liberty to say right now. If I am able I will speak with you again." Then she turned and was gone.  
  
"Shinji." The fear was quite evident in Asukas voice. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and gently embraced him. She fought to keep the tears back.  
  
"We should go home now." He said, Asuka nodded and stepped away form him. Then hand in hand, they set out for home, oblivious to the pair of eyes watching them from the darkened doorway of one of the abandoned buildings nearby.  
  
End  
  
  
  
OK I know there were probably some things wrong with this but I don't care. It's late, I'm tired, and most importantly I finally finished the damn thing. OK in the next installment "Asukas Fear" reoccurring nightmares shake Asukas belief in Shinjis love and she falls back into a depression where she convinces herself that it is impossible for anyone to love her.   
  
One more thing. I am looking for pre-readers. Any one who would like to be a pre-reader for Power of Commitment can email me. List the subject of the email as pre-reading.  
  
  
Power of Commitment Part Two  
Rei's warning  
  
Written by  
Ryan T. Nelson  
  
Until Next Time...  
See you on the other side....  
  
Thanks go out to my pre-readers  
  
Kwame (that's my Girlfriend) ^_^  
  
Elsa  
  
Joanna   
  



	3. Asukas Fear

  
Authors notes: Thank you all for reading my fics. I am having a lot of fun writing them... OK enough small talk. The last installment was pretty hard for me to write. I revised the damn thing twice, once while I was only half way through with the first revision. Any way in the last installment Shinji and Asuka informed their friends of their growing relationship and Rei warned them about the Commanders plan to have Asuka eliminated.  
  
In this installment a reoccurring nightmare shakes Asukas faith in Shinjis love. She sinks back into that depressed, 'no one can love me so I don't need anyone' attitude that she's had throughout the entire series. As a result her own insecurities and self-doubt makes her a vulnerable target during the next angels attack. And now...  
  
Power of Commitment Part Three:  
Asukas Fear.  
  
  
"He what!?" Misato screamed. She was sitting at the kitchen table, dressed in her usual house attire, which is to say practically nothing. Shinji and Asuka had arrived at the apartment just a few minutes earlier. Both had been out of breath, as if they had been running.  
  
She soon found out that that was exactly what they had been doing. After only a few minutes of walking they had started running. Reis warning had unsettled them, and being out in the open made them feel vulnerable, and exposed.  
  
"Rei told us that my father is planning to have Asuka killed." Shinji said. His voice was low, dangerous, and absolutely dripping with venom. Misato was unsettled by the anger emanating from the normally calm boy.  
  
"I need another beer." Misato said. She got up from the table and walked to the fridge. She had all ready downed two since Shinji had Asuka had gotten back. They were currently sitting on the couch. Asuka was leaning against his chest and Shinji had his arms held protectively around her.  
  
As Misato came to sit down next to them there was a knock at the door. Asuka and Shinji sat in silence as Misato went to answer the door. When she returned she had a little surprise with her.  
  
Kaji was standing behind Misato. Shinji looked up and opened his mouth to say hello, but quickly shut it again as Kaji raised one finger to his lips, signaling for silence. They all watched as Kaji walked over to a lamp and pulled a small wire from the base.  
  
He then continued around the room pulling wires from various articles. Once he finished he pulled a chair from the kitchen and turned it around so that he was straddling it. There was a small gasp from Asuka as Kaji reached into his coat and pulled out a loaded 9mm Baretta.   
  
"Kaji what's going on?" Shinji asked. He slowly untangled himself from Asuka and started to stand.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you Shinji." Kaji said as he turned the gun to point at the young man. Shinji froze. He slowly came to a decision. If he was going to protect Asuka he had to start somewhere. He finished his motion and stood facing the perpetually unshaven spy.  
  
"I mustn't run away." Shinji said in a clear, firm voice. "No." he said. "I will not run away. I am through with running." He glared at Kaji. Taking a step forward, Shinji placed himself directly between Asuka and the gun.  
  
"You could have given me away Shinji." Kaji said in a friendly tone.  
  
"What do you mean?" Misato and Asuka just stared at the normally timid young boy who was now talking back to a man who seemed ready to kill him.  
  
"This entire apartment is wired to transmit sound."  
  
"In other words the whole place is bugged."  
  
"Yes. I just disconnected those bugs." With that he tucked gun back into a holster hidden beneath his coat.  
  
"What about video?" Shinji asked. Kaji shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"I presume that you are the man that my father has commissioned to kill Asuka." Shinji grated from between clenched teeth.  
  
"You presume correctly. However I have no intention killing Asuka. I only accepted the job in order to buy us some time. We need to think of a way to get Asuka off of your fathers hit list." Shinjis eyes narrowed in suspicion.   
  
"Against my better judgment, I believe you." Shinji extended his hand. Kaji grinned broadly and accepted it in a firm handshake. "So what are we going to do?" he asked.  
  
"Wow!" The two men turned to look at Asuka.  
  
"What?" Shinji asked a confused tone entering his voice.  
  
"Well," Asuka said. "What's gotten into you Shinji?" she asked.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You've grown a backbone. A minute ago you were talking back to a man that was holding a gun on you. And now the two of have put that whole thing behind you and you are talking as if it never happened!" Shinji and Kaji looked at each other and a silent communication seemed to pass between them. Kaji nodded his head once.  
  
"Misato. Why don't we step outside, I think these two need to talk." Kaji took Misato by the arm and led her out of the apartment. Once they were gone Shinji turned to look at Asuka.  
  
"Asuka what do you think just happened here?" he asked after a moments thought. She frowned. "I'll tell you what happened. I have decided to stop running. I decided to finally take control of my life. I was protecting you, like I said that I would." He took her into his arms and stared deeply into her eyes.   
  
"And what's more, I did it of my own free will. Not because someone told me to do it, but because I wanted to protect the woman that I'm in love with." Then he gently kissed her. Asuka returned the kiss but there was a nagging doubt at the back of her mind.  
  
He doesn't know about my past. Could he really love me? she thought. Her train of thought was lost when Misato and Kaji chose that moment to come back into the living room.  
  
"OK." Kaji said, in a very business like tone. "Now we need to find a way to get Asuka out of Ikaris' line of fire. But first I think maybe I should tell you a little bit about why Ikari is targeting Asuka." He paused for a minute and then continued.  
  
"Ikari is after Asuka because of you Shinji." Shinjis breath hissed in past his lips as the small apartment suddenly seemed to get a lot smaller.  
  
"What do you mean?" he whispered. It seemed that his greatest fear was coming true. That Asuka would be hurt because of him. It wasn't happening in exactly the same way as he thought it might but it was still happening.  
  
"You are happy. Asuka is the reason behind your happiness. Your father does not want you to be happy." Shinji stared at him; eyes wide, mouth-hanging open in shock.  
  
"You have got to be fucking shitting me!" he yelled. "That bastard is going to try and kill Asuka just because I have a little fucking happiness in my life!! I'll kill him. I told him that if he ever did anything to endanger Asuka again then I would kill him!!!!!"  
  
"That's not everything" Kaji said. This revelation shut Shinji up really quickly. His jaw snapped shut with an audible click as he waited to hear what Kaji would say next. "You are happy. Everything that has happened so far since you arrived at Toky-3 has been a part of a scenario that the commander is controlling."  
  
"Every last bit of it was predicted in some ancient documents known as 'The Dead Sea Scrolls' even Asukas mind rape was in there." Shinji started muttering under his breath. Even though he was talking too quietly for Asuka to hear it she was fairly certain that he was using terms that she probably did not want to hear.  
  
Actually Asuka felt like hurling a few curses in Gendos direction herself.   
  
"Unfortunately one thing was not in the scrolls." Kaji turned to look directly at Shinji. "Your actions. You breaking out of the cage and stopping the angel was not a part of the scenario. Now because of that one change all of the predictions in the scrolls have basically become obsolete, except for the last few. Those can not be changed."  
  
"What do you mean Kaji?" Misato asked, making herself heard for the first time since Kajis arrival.  
  
"The scrolls predicted that the 16th angel should have attacked yesterday. Obviously that has not happened. Shinji the scrolls lead up to Third Impact. That event is supposed to decide the fate of mankind. Your actions over the next several months could decide the fates of every man, woman, and child on the face of this planet."  
  
Shinji seemed to sag under the assault on his mind. This was too much for him to handle at once.  
  
"What am I supposed to do?" he asked. His voice trembled.  
  
"I can't tell you that." Kaji replied. Shinji snapped. If you asked Misato or Asuka later, both would swear that they never even saw him move. Suddenly Kaji found himself launched from his chair.   
  
When the flurry of motion stopped Asuka saw that Shinji had tackled him. Kaji was now lying on his back on the floor. Shinji was kneeling above him, with his right knee pressing down on the mans chest. He was gripping a pressure point in Kajis throat tightly with two fingers, and somehow Shinji had managed to get a hold of Kajis gun, which was now pressed against the frightened mans temple.  
  
"You tell me all that shit and then you won't tell me what is expected of me!?" Shinji screamed. "Now," he said, his voice low and trembling with rage. "I will give you to the count of five to tell me what you know before I splatter your brains all over the walls. And I do not want to hear you say 'I can't tell you that' you are going to tell me what he wants me to do so that I can do the opposite and maybe save Asuka!"  
  
He flicked off the safety with his thumb. "ONE!"  
  
Kaji tried to speak but the pressure on his throat prevented him from doing so. Shinji did not seem to notice. "TWO!"  
  
"I.... Don't.....kn...kn....kno...know" Kaji gasped out. Shinji shook his head.  
  
"Why don't I believe you Kaji? THREE!" he released the mans throat.  
  
"The scrolls don't say what is going to happen at that point." Kaji said in a rush.  
  
"Talk faster man! FOUR!" Shinji pressed the barrel of the gun against Kajis temple and half squeezed the trigger. Up until this point Asuka had stood by in shock, not really believing that her kind, and gentle Shinji could actually kill someone in cold blood.  
  
But now she began to fear for the life of her former guardian and crush.  
  
"Shinji stop this!" she cried. Shinji declined to answer.  
  
"All I know is that you will be given a choice. Your father wants you to be hurt, emotionally. He thinks that if you are grieving over losing Asuka than you will make the decision that he wants you to. I don't know what the choices will be though."   
  
For a tense moment the two stared directly into each other's eyes. Soon Shinji nodded his head. He took his finger off the trigger and got off of Kaji. But he elected to keep the gun.  
  
"So how do we get him to leave Asuka alone?" Shinji asked. Kaji slowly and painfully pulled himself to a sitting position, leaning against the couch for support.  
  
"You still want my help?" Kaji asked as he gently rubbed his throat.  
  
"Of course. I know when I'm in over my head. You and Misato are probably the best suited to work out some kind of plan." He shrugged his shoulders, suddenly he was calm and in control of himself again. Neither his voice, nor actions betrayed any signs of the enraged violence that had burst forth from him moments before.  
  
"Aahh. Could I have my gun back?" Kaji asked. Shinji looked down at the gun in his hands. After a moments hesitation he proceeded to disassemble the weapon.   
  
He removed the magazine, broke the gun down into its largest basic components. He then tossed each of these pieces to the man sitting on the floor, but not until after he first emptied all of the bullets out of a magazine and the one that was still in the chamber. Those he shoved into his pants pocket.  
  
"Thank you." Kaji said, flashing him his best grin. Shinji just grunted and went into the kitchen to make some tea.  
  
____________________   
  
She was standing on a dark landscape. Asuka looked around her in fear.   
  
"Where am I?" she asked the darkness.  
  
"You are inside your mind." She turned at the sound of the voice.  
  
"Shinji!" she cried rushing over to hug him. As she reached him however he faded out and then reappeared a few meters away.  
  
"You are inside your mind. What is troubling you?" he asked.  
  
"I'm afraid Shinji might not really love me." She said.  
  
"Why would he not love you?" She turned at the sounds of a new voice to see Rei. She was wearing her plug suit, as had Shinji.  
  
"No one can love me. I'm an awful person. All I can do is pilot Eva and I've lost to the angels three times in a row. He can't possibly love someone as pathetic as I am."  
  
"I do not think that you are pathetic." Shinji said. "I have repeatedly told you that I loved you. You can feel it in the kisses that we have shared." A door suddenly appeared before Asuka. She recognized it almost instantly.  
  
"No I don't want to see this!" she cried. She tried to look away but found that she could no longer move. She couldn't even blink. She looked on in horror as the door opened and revealed her mother hanging from the ceiling fan by a rope tied around her neck. She swung softly and her face bore a simple, almost content smile.  
  
Beneath the dead woman's feet was a doll. A doll with red hair. A doll that had had its head ripped off. Asuka could feel her terror building until it was almost unbearable. Suddenly the dead woman spoke.  
  
"I love you Asuka." She croaked. "Please come to heaven with me. Die with me Asuka."  
  
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Asuka sat up on her bed as if she had hit with an electric shock. She was covered with sweat. Her nightgown was clinging to her wet body. She looked around wildly and was relieved to find herself in her room.  
  
She shrieked again as her door was suddenly wrenched open, almost falling off of its track.  
  
"What's wrong? Asuka are you all right?" Shinji cried as he came towards her. She saw that he was tightly gripping Misatos gun in his right hand.  
  
"No!" she screamed her mind flashing back to the dream, back to her mother asking her to go to heaven with her. "I don't want to go to heaven with you. Leave me alone!" She broke down and began to sob uncontrollably. Shinji blinked a couple of times before setting the gun down and taking her in his arms. She weakly tried to fight him off but she was too tired to do much more than cry.  
  
"Asuka. What happened?" he asked. He leaned back against the wall and pulled her onto his lap trying to comfort her.  
  
"I had a nightmare." She said, her voice muffled against his chest.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.  
  
"In a minute." she said. "Why did you have the gun?" she asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh I was afraid that maybe my father would hire someone else in case Kaji didn't kill you so I sorta borrowed it from Misato." He said sheepishly. There was no response from the sobbing girl. He held her protectively to his chest and gently stroked her hair.  
  
He continued to sit there and hold her. While he sat in the darkened room his mind returned to the conversation they had all had earlier that night. They had sat up for hours trying to think of some way to keep Asuka safe. All they got out of the ensuing argument was that neither of the children should go to school for the next few days.  
  
Misato had, by that time drunk herself into a stupor and Shinji and Kaji had put her to bed. Soon after that Kaji had gone home. Then he and Asuka had gone to bed. Now as he returned to the present he decided to talk to Asuka about her dream.  
  
"So what was the dream about." He asked after she had stopped crying. She tensed up in his arms at the mention of that dream.  
  
"It was about my mom." She lied. Can't let him know that I think he doesn't really love me. I won't show any weakness. she thought.  
  
(I know her thinking is not sounding very rational right now but it will all make sense later on trust me.)  
  
"She killed herself when I was very young. I found her hanging from the ceiling fan. She had tried to kill me too."  
  
"How could she have tried to kill you if you found her dead?" Shinji asked before thinking that maybe he shouldn't ask such a painful question.  
  
"She had a doll... that... she talk to as if it were... me. She called it Asuka, she talked to it, fed it, and completely ignored me." Her tears had returned. "When I found her I also found the doll, that she thought of as me, lying on the ground beneath her... with it's head ripped off.  
  
Shinji shuddered at the mental image. Asuka hugged him tightly as she cried into his chest. He just held her until she fell asleep. After a while of listening to her soft breathing he decided that he should go back to bed and try to get some sleep himself.  
  
So he slowly eased out from under Asuka and laid her down on the bed. When he turned to leave however a hand gripped his wrist. He turned back to see Asukas shinning eyes staring at him.  
  
"Don't go." She whispered. Those whispered words had a greater effect on him than if she had shouted. He nodded and slipped into the bed with her. He held her tenderly and stroked her hair. He kissed her gently and she slowly began to respond to the kiss. As they began to get more passionate about their activities Asuka voiced a request.  
  
"Shinji." she said. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Would you... let me be with you tonight?"  
  
"Asuka are you sure?" he asked. "I thought we were going to wait awhile."   
  
"Yes but even with you and Misato protecting me there is no guarantee that tonight wont be my last night alive. I would like to have been with you before I die if that is to happen." He gazed at her, judging her resolve in this course of action. He saw that she was dead serious and determined.  
  
"Yes." He whispered. They came together in another loving embrace. Soon they were no longer just the second and third children. On that night they became Shinji Ikari, and Asuka Langley Sohryu, a man and a woman, together in their love.  
____________________   
  
We once again find ourselves in that large office. It is quite dark. The only light is coming from the video monitors in the desk. Gendo Ikari is sitting at his desk contemplating what he had seen a few hours before.  
  
The monitors showed the living room of the apartment belonging to Major Misato Katsuragi, so we can guess what it was that he had seen. Shinjis reactions had startled him. Even with all the sound disconnected he could guess what the conversation had been about.  
  
"Kaji has betrayed us." Fuyutski said. He was standing behind and to the right of the commander. "So has Rei." There was no reaction from Ikari.  
  
"Why do you think the scrolls predictions have been off lately?" Ikari asked after a moment's silence.  
  
"I think it is because the scrolls do not take into account the actions that emotions can force a person into. Shinjis feelings for Asuka forced him to make contact with the Eva so he could save her. That was not in the scrolls." Fuyutski paused.  
  
"Shinjis recent violent behavior when provoked is also not in the scrolls, it also goes against any of his previous actions before the incident with the 15th angel."  
  
"I wonder when the 16th will attack." Ikari mused quietly to himself.   
  
____________________   
  
At that moment two hundred miles off the coast of Japan a large being was waking up on the bottom of the ocean. It would begin its attack in two days.  
  
____________________   
  
She was dreaming again. The dream started exactly the same. But when the door opened and her mother invited her to come to heaven she did not wake up.  
  
"I don't want to go to heaven with you." Asuka sobbed into her hands.  
  
"What are you so afraid of?" Shinji asked her.  
  
"I can't let anyone get close to me. They always hurt me. They say they love me then they leave me right when I need them the most. My mother left me, my father left me for that woman. I don't need anyone!" she screamed. "I am Asuka Langley Sohryu and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone's love! I will be strong, I will prove to all of them that I am the best there is."  
  
The dream faded away. She woke up in her bed. A glance at the clock told her that it was still very early in the morning. She started to roll over to go back to sleep but stopped when she felt the body that was pressed up against her.  
  
Shinji was lying behind her his body pressed against hers. She realized that they were both naked and the memory of last nights' events came back to her. A soft smile graced her features before she dozed off again.  
  
____________________   
  
Shinji woke to see morning light streaming in through the window. He frowned as this thought occurred to him. Why is there light coming in through my window? he thought. The sun rises on the opposite side of my room. His vision cleared and he saw a cloud of red hair in front of him.  
  
Oh right I'm in Asukas room. he looked down at the young girl, no the young woman that he had given himself to last night. He was filled with an almost overpowering sense of love for the fiery young girl. He slowly slipped out of the bed so as not to disturb her and went to his room to dress.  
  
After he had completed that task he decided to make breakfast. A few minutes later he was in the kitchen making some soup when he heard a door slide open down the hall. Seconds later the sound of footsteps could be heard and soon Asuka entered the kitchen.  
  
Her eyes were only half-open as she staggered into the kitchen, not yet fully awake. She plopped down in a chair at the table and rested her head on her arms with a groan.  
  
"How do you feel?" Shinji asked. There was an unintelligible grunt from the girl. "What was that?" She slowly raised her head to peer at him.  
  
"I'm a little sore," she said. "But I believe that you deserve partial credit for that." She winked at him. Shinji immediately blushed a bright red. He expected Asuka to continue teasing him, but instead she puts her head back down on the table and was soon sound asleep again.  
  
Shinji frowned at her. What was wrong with her today? She never gave up an opportunity to tease him, it was one of her favorite pastimes. Before he had time to consider this sudden change in Asukas behavior, Misato walked into the kitchen.  
  
Well perhaps dragged herself into the kitchen would better describe what she did. She went to the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, and proceeded to down half of it in one gulp. Shinji watched all of this with a disinterested expression on his face.  
  
Misato however was staring at the sleeping Asuka. She cast a sidelong glance at Shinji.  
  
"You know," she said. "Asuka looks really beat." She flashed Shinji an evil grin that he knew all too well. "You must have really tired her out last night Shinji." Shinji thought that his face was going to explode.  
  
"Wh... what... are you... talking about M..Misato?" he stammered. She laughed.  
  
"Oh come on Shinji. I wasn't so wasted last night that the two of you didn't wake me up." Shinji turned beet red and tried to deny the charges. "It's OK Shinji. I know you two love each other very much. It was bound to happen sooner or later." She placed a hand reassuringly on Shinjis shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't put this into my report. You and Asuka can do whatever you want under my roof." She smiled at him, and Shinji began to feel a little better about the whole situation.  
  
____________________   
  
Asuka was sitting with her head down on the table, pretending to sleep. She had heard the entire conversation. But she was not really paying close attention to what was being said. The dream she had had kept running through her mind. I am the best Eva pilot. she thought. I will prove it to Misato, and Rei, and the Commander. But most of all I will prove it to Baka Shinji! She noticed that Shinji and Misato had stopped talking. After a minutes silence she felt someone's breath on her cheek, then a soft pair of lips gently caressing her skin.  
  
"Asuka. Wake up." Shinji said. Asuka raised her head to look at him. Then without a word she rose from the table and walked back to her room. In the kitchen Misato and Shinji stared wide-eyed at her back until the door to her room closed behind her.  
  
"What was that about?" Misato asked. Shinji just stood there with a puzzled expression on his face as he stared at the closed door.  
  
____________________   
  
"What do you mean Asuka was acting weird this morning?" Ritsuko asked. She and Misato were sitting in one of the lounges near the command center. They were at one of the table sipping coffee.  
  
"Well Shinji kissed her on the cheek, and then Asuka got up and without even saying anything just walked back to her room and shut the door." Misato said. Ritsuko looked thoughtfully at the ceiling for a few minutes.  
  
"Maybe it was just PMS?" she suggested. Misato shook her head.  
  
"I don't think so. There were no outbursts or anything like that. Her eyes seemed kind of... dead." Misato looked around the room quickly to see if anyone could hear and then leaned in towards Ritsuko. "Also one other bit of news, last night Shinji and Asuka.... kinda..... had sex." she whispered to the blond scientist.  
  
"They what!" Ritsuko screamed.  
  
"Ssshhhhh." Misato hissed. "Keep it down. They slept together last night. Woke me up from a dead sleep."  
  
"Do you have any idea what the consequences could be?" Ritsuko demanded.  
  
"Well yeah. I don't think they had any condoms." Misato said.  
  
"No! That's not what I'm talking about. They lost their virginity, that kind of thing raises major havoc in the teenage body. This could have serious repercussions on their performance as pilots." Misatos eyes grew wide as she let that information sink in.  
  
"Oh shit." She whispered. Misato reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone.   
  
"Who are you calling?" Ritsuko asked.  
  
"Shinji. Why don't you set up some harmonics tests for them? I'll call and tell them that I'm on my way to get them, we should find out what kind of damage may have been done." Ritsuko nodded and rose from her seat as Misato frantically dialed Shinjis number.  
  
____________________   
  
Shinji almost jumped out of his chair as his phone started ringing in class. All eyes turned to him at the sound of the interruption. Asukas head snapped up.  
  
"What is it? Angel attack?" Shinji shrugged and dug his phone out of his backpack.  
  
"Hello?" he said. He listened for a minute. "Misato wants us to get outside she's on her way to pick us up right now. There's some emergency or something Back at NERV and they need us as soon as possible Asuka."  
  
"Am I to come as well?" Shinji looked up to find Rei standing in front of him.  
  
"Misato. Do you need Rei to come also?" he asked into the phone. After a moment he looked back up at Rei. "Yeah, get your bag." He said as he hung up the phone. The eyes of everyone in the room followed them as they gathered their stuff and walked out the door.  
  
____________________   
  
Ten minutes later they were in the changing rooms. Shinji paused in the act of getting into his plugsuit to gaze at the shadow that Asukas body cast on the opaque screen that separated him from the two girls.  
  
He was struck again by just how beautiful she was. He quickly shook his head in order to get certain images from last night out of his mind. He finished dressing and left the locker room.  
  
____________________   
  
"Why did you get Rei in here?" Ritsuko whispered to Misato.   
  
"I didn't want anyone to get suspicious. Everyone here knows about Asuka and Shinji going out. So if we just called them in for an unscheduled test than certain people might figure that something was up." Misato hissed back at her. The children were currently inside the test entry plugs.  
  
Misato leaned forward to peer at the computer screen over Mayas shoulder. She breathed a sigh of relief when the scores came back. Rei was at 60%. Shinji had actually gone up to 73%, 6% higher than at his last test.  
  
Then she came to Asukas test score. 30%, Her lowest score since her first successful activation.  
  
"Why has her score gone down so much?" Misato asked.  
  
"I'm not sure." Maya said. "Do you think it has anything to do with what she and Shinji did last night?"  
  
"How did you know about that?" Misato asked.  
  
"I was sitting right here when you and Sempai were discussing it ma'am." Maya said.  
  
"Oh... right."  
  
"Right now that could be a possibility." Ritsuko said. There was nearly a minute of silence as they all considered the ramifications of this disturbing discovery.  
  
"But if that's the case than why hasn't Shinji's score gone down?" Misato asked. Neither Ritsuko or Maya had an answer for her.  
  
"Wait a sec." Maya said. Her hands suddenly began to fly over the keyboard. After a minute or so of typing a window opened on the screen that showed three separate graphs. "This." Maya said, pointing to the first graph, "is a recording of Asukas EEG during one of the tests we did with Asuka before the attack of the 15th Angel. The second one the day right after the attack."  
  
"And the third one is today's test. What's your point?" Misato asked.  
  
"Well look. On the first graph this section is fairly low." Maya said pointing to a portion of the graph. "On the second there is a small spike that was fairly abnormal. We assumed that it was just a little after effect from the angels attack since the same spike showed up on Shinjis graph."  
  
"But look at the third one. The spike is exponentially larger. I've been watching this spike for a while but I didn't really think about It until right now. The angel did something to her. This spike represent an abnormal set of brain waves."  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying." Misato said. Ritsuko turned to her.  
  
"Maya is trying to tell us that the Angels attack may have damaged her mind slightly. And time may not heal this wound. She seems to be getting worse. We need to figure out exactly what that spike is quickly, before it causes permanent damage to Asuka." Misato stared at Ritsuko for a moment before nodding her head.  
  
"Figure it out fast." She said. Then she spun on her heel and stalked out of the command center.  
  
"All right guys, you're finished. You can get out now." Ritsuko said into the mike.   
  
____________________   
  
Back in the locker room Shinji is standing in front of his locker. He has all ready changed out of his plug suit but he has not left yet. In his hand is a small velvet box. He opens it. Resting inside of the box is an engagement ring. He had practically emptied his account buying this ring.  
  
It was gold, there were two small diamonds set on opposite sides of a heart shaped ruby. The settings were inlaid with silver. He loved Asuka and he was ready to ask her to marry him. With a determined expression on his face he exited the locker room, in search of the girl that he loved.  
  
____________________   
  
The 16th Angel approached the shores of Japan. It had left the ocean and was now floating above the waves. The hoop-like angel slowly floated towards the fortress city of its enemy, and its ultimate goal.  
____________________  
  
Shinji arrived at the apartment late that night. He had spent some time walking around the city, collecting his thoughts. Finally as the sun began to sink below the horizon he turned and made his way home.  
  
When he entered the apartment he found Misato already passed out at the kitchen table, with a wall of empty beer cans surrounding her. He shook his head quietly and then covered the incapacitated woman with a blanket.  
  
He walked down the hall and slowly slid open the door to Asukas bedroom. She was asleep in her bed. He picked his way carefully over to her, (so as not to trip over anything in the darkness) and gave her a soft kiss on the lips before turning and going to his own room to sleep.  
  
"I'll give her the ring tomorrow." He whispered as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
____________________   
  
Gendo Ikari is sitting at his desk. His shoulder had been repaired, and he is staring intently at the video monitors. He watches his son walk into the apartment and cover Misato with the blanket. He watches as he moves on to the second child's bedroom. As he watches his son tenderly kiss her, his heart softens for just a moment and he is reminded of his wife Yui.  
  
A lone tear makes its way down his cheek. But soon his heart turns back into a cold lump of stone in his chest and he turns off the monitors. He rises from his desk and walks around it to the large bay windows looking out over the Geofront. However he is not enjoying the splendid view.   
  
Shinji Ikari arrived at his home at approximately 10:45 p.m. and when the 16th Angel began it's attack at 7:35 a.m. the Commander was still standing at the windows.  
  
____________________   
  
Sirens woke Shinji up that fateful morning. When he rose and hurriedly dressed he had no idea that this morning was going to be the beginning of the end for him, and possibly for the rest of humanity.  
  
____________________  
  
The debriefing room.   
  
"We don't really know much about this angel right now." Ritsuko informed the pilots. "What we do know is that it seems to be using it's AT field to hold itself off the ground. Rei will attack first in Unit 00. Asuka will be back up and Shinji the freeze is still on Unit 01, so we can't use it but you will get in anyway, just in case."  
  
"Don't worry Shinji, I'll take care of this one." Asuka said. Her old arrogant tone was back. The three Evas were soon positioned on the launch catapults.   
  
"Eva Launch!" Misato shouted.  
  
____________________  
  
Eva Unit 00 rocketed towards the surface. When it shot up out of the ground Rei saw the angel directly in front of her. The glowing band that was the Angel just hovered there for a few minutes. Suddenly it attacked. The hoop broke apart into a line and one end thrust forwards at high speed.  
  
It ripped through Unit 00 AT field and penetrated the abdomen of the Evangelion. Rei grabbed a section of the Angel in one hand and placing the barrel of her gun against the Angel and fired several rounds at point blank range.  
  
"There's bio contamination in the Eva!" Maya cried. On the surface of Unit 00 huge veins could be seen spreading as the angel tried to take over the Unit. Inside the entry plug similar veins could be seen spreading across Rei's abdomen, down her legs, and across her breasts till they reached the edge of her face.  
  
Rei's cries of pain could be heard inside the Command center.   
  
"Launch Unit 02." All eyes turned to look at Commander Ikari. He was standing behind the desk he usually sat at, an apprehensive expression on his face. Sensing that it would not be wise to question the commanders' order, Unit 02 was launched.  
  
"Asuka, spread your AT field to maximum advance 300 meters to armament building 23 and take the positron rifle. Take some of the heat off Rei!" Misato cried into the comm. "Unit 02 move out!"  
  
____________________  
  
On the surface one of those fake buildings opened and Unit 02 could be seen standing inside. That was all it did. No signs of motion were coming from the silent beast.  
  
"Asuka move out!" Misato screamed. Over the speakers a whisper could be heard from inside the Eva.  
  
"It won't move, it just won't move." Over and over this was repeated.  
  
"Why won't the damn thing move?" Misato asked.   
  
"It's no good," some one yelled. "Her synch ratio is under 10%."  
  
"She's just a target out there." Misato said. "Get her back."  
  
"No." The commander was still standing. "She will make a good decoy if nothing else. Lift the freeze and launch Unit 01."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Launch Unit 01. Now!"  
  
____________________  
  
Inside the entry plug of Evangelion Unit 02 Asuka was crying in shame and despair at her latest failure against the angels.  
  
"Why for her?" she asked as she heard the commanders' orders through the open channel. "Am I so worthless that you couldn't order the launch for me?" She dropped her head into her hands and continued to sob uncontrollably.   
  
____________________  
  
Rei was in agony. The Angels invasion of her body was not gentle or pleasant. She was used to pain. But she was not used to what would come next. Through her view screen she saw Unit 01 erupt out of the ground near her. Her heart leapt in her chest. Am I happy to see Ikari-kun? she thought. There was a shimmer in the air as its AT field unfolded.  
  
Inside Unit 01 Shinji saw the motionless Unit 02 standing on the launch platform.  
  
"Misato why hasn't Asuka been withdrawn?" he demanded.  
  
"Commanders orders." Shinji seethed with rage. Rei was hurt, and his father was still trying to have Asuka destroyed, he was probably hoping that the angel would do the dirty work for him.  
  
The angel reacted. It darted towards the purple giant. Shinji barely managed to get his Unit out of the way in time but his rifle was destroyed.   
  
"Ikari." Rei shouted. "It is of my mind and soul to become one with Ikari. You will not harm him." Suddenly inside the Command center everything went nuts as Unit 00 seemed to curl up into a fetal position  
  
"The AT fields reversing itself." Maya said.  
  
"She's trying to contain it." Ritsuko cried out in shock.  
  
"Rei abandon Unit 00, get the hell out of there!" Misato screamed.  
  
"I can not," Rei gasped over her pain. "If I abandon Unit 00 then the field will cease to be." She turned and reached behind her seat activating the self-destruct mechanism for her Eva. "I will not let that happen."  
  
"Rei, don't do it." Shinji said.  
  
"Shinji, I... I think I could have... loved you." Rei said. Just before the Angel and her Eva are engulfed in a gigantic explosion one final image appears before her eyes. It is of Commander Ikari, and he is smiling softly. Everyone in the command center stares up at the screen in shock. It is not caused entirely by the death of one of there own, but partially because of her last words.  
  
Rei? Expressing feelings for anyone?  
  
____________________  
  
Outside Unit 01 is half buried under a mountain of dirt and sand, kicked up by the explosion. Suddenly the shocked expression on his face hardens into a look of pure rage. He knows the man who was responsible for this. He knows who it was that put Asuka into danger. He would exact his revenge.  
  
End  
  
Damn this one was very hard for me to right Because of the battle at the end. The actual episode is much more emotional I think. You feel sorry for Rei. I don't think I managed to express that too well with this fic but I tried OK?  
  
In the next installment, Shinji is pissed, and he attacks the command center in Unit 01. Will he make good on his promise to kill the Commander? Will Asuka be all right? What happened to her in the first place? Will Shinji get to propose? Would some one please tell me cause I don't know what gonna happen?  
  
Until next time...  
See you on the other side.  
  
  
  
Power of Commitment Part Three:  
Asukas Fear.  
  
I need some pre-readers. Anyone interested in the position can send me an email at neongenisis51857@compuserve.com or shinjikatsuragi@hotmail.com  



	4. Shinji's Retaliation

Authors notes: This installment will go into Shinjis reaction to his fathers' actions. Shinji is understandably pissed off. So I think the Commander is in for a world of hurt. Any way this section is going to be all about Asukas breakdown and Shinjis near breakdown. We will also learn the truth behind Rei Ayanami. Also the first part of the fic will center around some really weird crap that happens between Shinji and Unit 01 which will all be explained at a later date.  
  
One other thing. I don't like this chapter. Every time I read it I get the feeling that there is something missing. So if any of you bright readers out there happens to think of something please let me know. Also I still need a title for part one. DON"T YOU PEOPLE EVER READ THE AUTHORS NOTES!!!!!!?????  
  
Also I must apologize to the DrunkenOtaku #2. He quite vocally expressed his opinion to have Gendo die in part Four, in some fairly uncomfortable methods. Gendo does NOT die in this fic. (At least not yet.) sorry man Maybe in part six.  
  
If you think of a title please let me know and I will pick the best out of all the responses that I get. Thank you.  
  
Power of Commitment Part Four:  
Shinjis Retaliation  
  
____________________  
  
"Major, Unit 01 is moving." Maya said.  
  
"What?" On the screen everyone could see Unit 01 digging itself out of the ground.   
  
"Oh my god!" Ritsuko breathed as she stared intently at her monitor.   
  
"What is it?" Misato asked.  
  
"Shinjis synch ratio has just skyrocketed in the last fifteen seconds. It's now up to... 267%. And rising."  
  
"Is he heading for another 400% incident?" Misato asked, worry creeping into her voice.  
  
"I'm not so sure that, that's what I would be worrying about right now." Ritsuko replied. "His synch ratio is rising at an exponential rate. That only happens when he is very angry. Since the Angel has been destroyed, I am more worried about who, or what Shinjis anger is going to lash out at."   
  
Misato suddenly felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She jumped a foot as the speakers roared to life. Shinji was screaming in a rage.  
  
"Father!" he screamed. "You son of a bitch. You did it again. You placed Asuka in danger. Do you remember what I told you I would do if you EVER did that again?"  
  
A large crash was heard coming from the launch bay.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Misato screamed.  
  
"It was the launch catapult. Shinji destroyed it and dropped it down the shaft."  
  
"He's entered the shaft." Maya screamed. "He should reach us within fifteen seconds.  
  
"Eject the plug."  
  
"The signals not being received, all links have been blocked from inside the plug." There was a second crash as the giant purple robot entered the launch bay.  
  
"You will pay father!" Unit 01's massive fist pounded into the wall that seperated him from the command center. After only two hits the wall crumbled and Shinji burst through. Everyone on the platform scattered in fear.  
  
Well almost everyone. Ritsuko, Misato, and the Commander all stayed.  
  
"Shinji stop this right now!" Misato yelled.  
  
"Misato. You know that I love you, but if you get in my way I will kill you!" She cringed back from the tone of his voice. It was not Shinjis voice. The voice that came from the speakers was dangerous and the owner of that voice was some one who had reached the end of their rope.   
  
"I think Shinji has lost it." Misato said. No one answered her. Shinji stood before the platform. He saw Misato, and despite what he had said he didn't really want to hurt her. Knowing he could not use Unit 01 to get at his father without risking killing Misato, Shinji powered down the Unit.  
  
He exited the entry plug and scrambled over the giant's neck till he reached a point where he could jump to the platform. As he landed Unit 01's eyes lit up with a cold fire.  
  
"He's still linked to Unit 01!" Ritsuko screamed.  
  
"What?" Indeed as Shinji walked forward Unit 01 also tried to walk ahead. However the platform was blocking its path. Shinji slowly stalked the Commander who had not even moved from his seat yet.  
  
"Shinji what do you think you are doing?" the Commander yelled. As usual his voice was harsh and with out emotion. Even though his voice betrayed no emotion he was beginning to feel fear tugging at him.  
  
"Shinji please stop this right now!" Misato cried as she stepped in front of him. Shinji's hand lashed out. His fist caught her a glancing blow across the jaw, and as she reeled back he swung his arm in an arc, catching her at the back of her neck with a Karate chop.  
  
Misato slumped to the ground, unconscious. Shinji stepped over her and continued to make his way towards his father. Ritsuko wisely scrambled out of his way as he approached her. Her eyes were still locked on her computer monitor.  
  
"My god, how could his synch ratio be rising like this."   
  
A door hissed open. Asuka stepped through and onto the command deck. The sight before her was shocking to say the least. Unit 01 was walking forward, pushing against the command platform. The platforms supports were starting to give a little under the pressure and the whole thing was swaying from side to side.  
  
Misato was passed out on the floor. Ritsuko was shrieking unintelligibly about a Synch Ratio. Directly in front of her was Shinji. Her eyes widened in fear as they landed on him. He was not just walking towards his father, but he seemed to be stalking him like some wild animal.  
  
His blue eyes were narrowed in anger and his right hand was clenching and relaxing in a nervous fashion. His whole body was tense with anger.   
  
"Father." He hissed. "You sent her out there today to die, didn't you. This was a part of your goddamn scenario wasn't it? Now Rei is dead! Do you hear me? She's dead!!" His voice rose in his throat as he screamed at the silent man.  
  
Asukas eyes went flat. He was worried about Rei? she thought. He didn't even mention me! The girl he supposedly loves.   
  
Before she had any more time to consider this however Shinji suddenly clenched his fist for the last time and leaped at his father. The two came together in their struggle. Unit 01 was still mimicking Shinjis motions and after the first contact they backed away from each other and began circling warily.  
  
Unit 01 was also circling an imaginary opponent. Fists began to fly as the two swung at each other. Shinji caught the older man with an uppercut to the jaw but as Gendo fell back he managed to lash out with one foot, catching Shinji behind the knee.  
  
The two scrambled to their feet and again came together. The fight raged on for several more minutes until a chance blow to the jaw spun the commander to the floor. He quickly rose to his feet, scooping up a metal bar that had fallen from the ceiling. As Shinji stepped in to attack Gendo swung the bar up as hard as he could into Shinjis ribs. Shinji grunted in pain as three of his ribs cracked.  
  
He ducked in under Gendos arm and grabbing the older man by the shoulders Shinji raised his knee forcefully into the mans gut. He reeled back in pain, gasping for breath, but Shinji did not give him a chance to recover.  
  
He rushed in delivering blow after blow until Gendo fell to the ground then Shinji knelt over him and continued to pummel the mans face with his fists. Within minutes Gendo was reduced to a broken bleeding pile on the ground.  
  
Satisfied Shinji straightened up and turned to look at Asuka. He began to stumble towards her. The light in his eyes was gone and he seemed weighed down by some heavy burden. He looks... dead. Asuka thought. Shinji managed to take about a dozen steps before his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the deck. Unit 01 had also gone silent.  
  
____________________   
  
Shinjis eyes slowly opened. His whole body burned with pain. Every last one of his muscles protested his every movement.  
  
"What happened?" he mumbled.  
  
"You almost killed the commander. He is gonna need re-constructive surgery on his face, and you tore the new joint loose in his shoulder" He weakly turned his head to see Misato sitting next to him in a chair. "How you feeling kiddo?" she asked.  
  
"Probably better than he is right about now." He said, his voice rasping out past dry, cracked lips. His memory started to come back Ayanami, 16th angel. Unit 00, self-destruct. "Rei!" he screamed and sat up in the hospital bed.  
  
"She's gone Shinji." Misato whispered.  
  
"Where is Asuka?" he asked. His eyes darted around the room nervously. "Where is she!?" he screamed as he reached out to grab a hold of Misatos' jacket. "Did Unit 02 survive the explosion?"  
  
"Yes. You've been in here for about six days. Yesterday..." Misatos voice trailed off. "Yesterday she disappeared." Shinji sat back stunned.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
"She ran away Shinji. We don't know where she is or why she ran off." Why did I just lie to him? she thought. While she was mentally kicking herself, Shinji had gotten out of bed and was busy trying to pull his clothes on. "Shinji what are you doing?"  
  
"I... have... to... find... her." He panted from between clenched teeth. He groaned and sank to his knees, arms wrapped around his chest in pain.  
  
"Shinji!" Misato cried putting her hand on his shoulder. He angrily shrugged it off and finished dressing. He dug into his pocket and pulled the little velvet ring box out.  
  
"Do you know what this is?" he shouted. He opened the box and held it in front of her face. "I bought this for her about a week ago. I was going to ask her to marry me! Now you come in here and try to tell me that she's left? I am going out there and I am going to find her!" He screamed in rage.  
  
Misato shrank back from the enraged pilot, not really wanting to go against the mentally unstable boy again. After six days her neck was still sore from when he had hit her. She stepped aside and watched as he lurched out the door, one arm wrapped around his bandaged chest and the other one gripping the wall for support.  
  
"Asuka," she whispered. "why did you leave."  
  
____________________   
  
Out on the streets of Tokyo-3 a certain red headed pilot was stumbling about among the wreckage. Much of the city had been destroyed by the explosion of Unit 00 and she had spent the last day hiding from NERV security. She found an abandoned building and walked into one of the bathrooms.  
  
She took off her clothes and got into the tub that had a half-an-inch of dirty water in the bottom of it. Reaching into the pocket of her jacket she pulled out the pocketknife that she had purchased two days earlier. She looks down at her naked body. Thin, a little too thin due to the fact that she hadn't been eating much for the past few days.   
  
Rounded breasts leading down to a flat stomach. Long smooth legs. Her eyes were dead. The normally vibrant young girl was now merely a shadow of her former self.  
  
"Shinji doesn't love me. He fought with his father because of that doll." She mumbled to herself. The feelings of hopelessness and despair caused by that damn nightmare came down over her in a rush.  
  
The knife's blade moved slowly closer to her wrists. "I'm coming mamma." She murmured. Soon she would join mamma in heaven, just like the dream said. The blade touched the tender flesh of her wrists and she drew it down sharply.  
  
Bright red blood spurted from the wound pouring out over her breasts and down her stomach. She didn't even flinch when the blade bit into her flesh, she just sat there in the tub staring as her life poured out of her. Just as she began to black out from blood loss she thought she saw Shinji enter the bathroom. Then she sank into silent oblivion.  
  
I love you Shinji, even if you don't love me.  
  
____________________   
  
Shinji had been walking for hours. The pain in his chest from some broken ribs that he did not remember receiving in the battle had eventually taken their toll on him. He was now no longer walking as much as stumbling blindly forward in his determined quest to find Asuka.  
  
Suddenly ahead of him he thought he caught site of her entering an abandoned apartment building. He blinked and shook his head. When he looked back there was nothing but an empty doorway. I probably just imagined it. But... what... if... he groaned and pulled himself up off of the wall that he was leaning on and stumbled in the direction he had seen her go.  
  
He entered the building in time to see a door to one of the apartment's swing shut a ways down the long hallway. Too weak to cry out all he could do was slowly drag himself forward. After what seemed like an eternity he finally reached the door. Pushing it open he fell inside... literally.  
  
He pitched forward and fell to the ground with a muffled thump. He lay there, gasping for breath for a few minutes before struggling to an upright position. He quickly noticed that Asuka was not in the room he was currently standing in. He also noticed that the layout of the apartment was almost exactly like Misatos. He stumbled down the hallway to what would have been Misatos room. Empty.  
  
Moving on he stopped at his room. Also empty. Next came the room situated where Asukas would have been.  
  
"Third time's a charm." He muttered under his breath. Empty. Damnit! Then he saw the partially open door to the bathroom. The entire apartment was dim because outside the sun was beginning to set. But he could still see the shadow that was thrown onto the wall. "Asuka."  
  
As he neared the door he heard a voice from inside.  
  
"I'm coming mamma." He straightened up quickly in shock, and then instantly doubled over in pain. He gritted his teeth and his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried desperately to drawn in a ragged breath past his constricting throat. A wall of red filled his vision. Eventually the pain subsided enough for him to breathe.  
  
Nearly five minutes had passed since he had heard the voice. So he slowly lurched forward. He leaned against the doorjamb for a moment before turning to look inside. There she was sitting in the tub, her clothes neatly folded on the floor.   
  
She was staring off into space and suddenly Shinji saw that knife and the fact that her breasts and stomach were covered in blood. He could smell it, that light coppery smell that reminded him of the LCL they used in the Evas. His mind switched into overdrive. In the space of a second he realized what she must have done.   
  
His suspicion was further proved when she suddenly slumped down in the tub. He could hear her labored breathing. Even though his mind was screaming at him to move, he couldn't get his feet to obey. He stood there in shock for another minute before the sound of the pocketknife dropping to the tile floor snapped him out of his daze.  
  
He rushed forward ignoring the screaming pain in his ribs and gathered her into his arms. As he held her closely to his body he heard her murmur quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself.  
  
"...I love you Shinji, even if you don't love me." He pulled her away from his body and looked at her face. Tears sprang to his eyes, temporarily blinding him.  
  
"But I do love you Asuka." he cried bitterly. He gently stroked her cheek with one hand, the tears now free-falling down his face. "Asuka don't leave me." He threw back his head and cried out his anguish to the uncaring stars that could be seen through the hole in the roof. With trembling fingers he checked her pulse, and found it to be quick and erratic.  
  
Quickly he wiped his eyes. He took his shirt off and tore it into strips. One of these strips he wrapped tightly around her wrist trying to stem the flow of blood. He checked her other arm but apparently the one was all she had cut.  
  
Moving frantically now completely oblivious to his own injuries he gathered her into his arms and shuffled out of the room as quickly as he could. Once outside he rested against a wall for a minute. He supported Asuka with one arm while he dug through his pocket with the other. After withdrawing his phone he hit the speed dial and waited impatiently for someone to answer.  
  
" Hello."   
  
"Misato! It's Shinji."  
  
"Shinji? Where are you?"  
  
"I don't have time to explain. Asuka has tried to kill herself."  
  
"What!!?" Shinji winced and held the phone away from his ear.  
  
"Get Dr. Akagi and get her to bring an ambulance. Have her home in on the tracer in my phone. I stopped the bleeding I think but she's passed out and her pulse is very erratic. I'm carrying her now I'll try and get her as close to the hospital as I can. Just get Ritsuko down here now!!" he screamed into the phone and then hung up without waiting for a reply.  
  
He shoved the phone into his pocket and then hooked one arm under Asukas legs. He picked her up, grunting a bit in pain as he did. Then he began to walk.  
  
____________________   
  
Shinji was pacing back and forth in the hospital waiting room, like a caged animal. The nurse on duty would sometimes cast puzzled glances in his direction. The reason was fairly obvious. He was dirty, due to his frequent falls in the muddy streets. His hair was wild and unkempt, his eyes were also a little wild.   
  
(the closest description I can give to describe it would be the equivalent of me pulling an all niter writing this fic and downing several pots of coffee in the process, caffeine high!)  
  
His arms were scraped, and bruised and the front of his shirt was covered in blood. Misato was sitting nearby staring at him thoughtfully. He looks like he's about to collapse. she thought. Indeed at that exact moment Shinjis right knee buckled and he barely caught himself from falling to the tile floor.  
  
He cried out in pain and wrapped one of his arms around his chest. Misato stood and started towards him.  
  
"Get the fuck away from me." He growled. Misato felt a shudder run down her spine at the enraged tone in his voice. She did not move any closer but she made no move to sit back down either. Shinji kneeled there on the floor for a few more minutes, his harsh breathing the only sound in the quiet room. Suddenly he grunted and pushed at a chair with his free arm. The muscles and tendons in his arms sharply visible for a few moments as he strained to push himself back to his feet.  
  
He eventually struggled back to an upright position. Misato could tell that his breathing was worse and he was definitely more hunched over than usual. She walked over to the nurse.  
  
"What kind of damage do you think he did?" Misato asked quietly. The nurse studied the sweating boy for a minute before answering.  
  
"He appears to be in great amounts of pain, he can't straighten up completely and his chest appears to be the center of that pain. I would say that the ribs that he broke previously have broken again. Also... I think there might be a possibilty that one of the edges of those bones could be dangerously close to his lungs. He is twisting and moving around too much, I'm amazed he was even able to carry that poor girl in here." She said.  
  
"By the way what's the word on the poor gentleman who came in here with you?" When the ambulance had pulled up next to Shinji, he had been too wasted to even notice, he just kept walking, holding Asuka closely to his chest. When one of the medics tried to take her from him, Shinji had snapped out of his daze.  
  
All he saw was some man trying to take his love from him, so, he reacted accordingly. He punched the man, breaking his jaw. It took Ritsuko, Misato, and another of the medics to calm him down enough for him to realize what was happening.  
  
He had reluctantly relinquished Asuka over to them, but when they had arrived at the hospital he had insisted on carrying her inside.  
  
Misato was about to reply when the doctor suddenly appeared. Shinji rushed up to him as quickly as he was able to, due to his injuries.  
  
"How is she?" he demanded.  
  
"She will be all right. We managed to give her the transfusion in time and right now she is sleeping." Shinji sighed with relief. His body suddenly spasms and his breath came out with a distinctive gargling sound. He was caught by several pairs of hands just before he collapsed to the ground again.  
  
____________________   
  
  
A large group of men are walking through a wooded section of the city. Suddenly a voice calls out:  
  
"Doctor Akagi, over her, we've found the entry plug. Ritsuko approaches the twisted hunk of metal that can be recognized as having once been Unit 00's entry plug. She approaches slowly and looks inside the plug through one of the holes in its side.  
  
"Classify everything as top secret. Clean out the plug and destroy everything."   
  
____________________  
  
  
Once again Shinji wakes up in the infirmary. Misato is sitting next to him. She looks up when she notices that he is awake.  
  
"How are you feeling Shinji." She asks. Her voice was soft and kind.  
  
"Like shit." He murmurs. "What happened?"  
  
"Your broken ribs broke again. They didn't have time to heal properly before you went out after Asuka then with carrying her and the falls you took just walking around the city, the breaks were more sever then the last time."  
  
"When the doctor told us about Asuka you finally calmed down a little then your body went into shock from the injuries and the fact that one of the broken ribs punctured you right lung." Shinji groaned and turned his head to the side closing his eyes. Suddenly they snapped open again.  
  
"How is Asuka?" he asked. Misato looked down and didn't respond. "Misato the doctor said she was OK how is she doing?" Shinjis panic was slowly beginning to rise.  
  
"She isn't dead if that's what you mean. Actually at this moment you are in greater danger of dying than she is. Your lung still has to heal and you will not be getting out of that bed anytime soon."  
  
"The hell I won't." he cried. "I'm going to see Asuka." Shinji tried to sit up but found that he couldn't. Not because he was too weak, or injured to do so, but because he was strapped to the bed. "What the fuck is going on?"  
  
"I didn't want you running around again until you healed up so I had them tie you down. Face it Shinji you aren't going anywhere." Misato rose and turned to leave.  
  
"Misato wait. What happened to Asuka? Please tell me." Shinji begged tears coming to his eyes. She slowly turned to look at him, and he could see the great sadness in her eyes.  
  
"She is in a coma Shinji. After the transfusion she just wouldn't wake up. The doctors don't know when she'll wake up, or if she ever will." Shinji was too stunned to speak he just closed his eyes and wept silently. Misato left the grieving boy. She walked out into the hallway.  
  
Why do these children have to endure so much pain? she thought. Wearily she dragged herself to her office to look over some reports.  
  
____________________  
  
We found ourselves on a familiar barren landscape. The beginning of Asukas suicide nightmare. The dream has repeated over and over since she had descended into that black pit.  
  
"So am I dead now?" she whispers to the darkness around her. She didn't really expect an answer, but, even so she wasn't too surprised when she got one.  
  
"No. You are not dead. Shinji saved you." She turned to find a woman standing behind her. Her eyes widened and she stumbled back.  
  
"M... mo... mother?" she stammered. The woman was standing before her dressed in a plugsuit exactly like Asukas.  
  
"Yes sweetheart, it's me." She smiled warmly. She stepped forward and gently embraced her daughter. After a minute or so she pulled back and looked sternly at Asuka.  
"Asuka, honey, why did you try to kill yourself?"  
  
"Shinji doesn't love me." Asuka said.  
  
"That's not true. He saved your life. He pulled you out of that stinking tub and got you to a hospital. Shinji is very much in love with you."  
"If he loves me than why did he fight with the Commander over Rei? He didn't even mention me at all."  
  
"I'm not entirely sure but I think it would have something to do with the fact that Shinji is very concerned with human life. He was enraged that his father seemed to possibly know that this was going to happen and she was going to do that."  
  
"How do you know this? You're just a dream."  
  
"Not exactly. You could call me your conscience. I am here to reason with you. You're in a coma in the hospital. Shinji loves you and this is most likely tearing him up inside. You will wake up when you are ready, but I am here to try and wake you up faster. He needs you Asuka."  
  
Not wanting to believe it Asuka covered her ears with her hands and pretended that she couldn't hear. Shinji can't love me, I can't even pilot anymore. Her mother continued to talk and Asuka slowly sank to her knees, the darkness closing in on her. She fell to the floor and cried.  
  
____________________   
  
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi sits at her desk. She is currently trying to smoke out all her troubles. And she is partially succeeding. The thick haze of cigarette smoke over her head has done wonders for her disposition, meaning she is now pleasantly light headed.  
  
She reaches over to the phone and dials a number.  
  
"Misato." She says actually managing to sound like she's excited. "The found Rei, she's alive." The resulting scream on the other end of the phone forced the doctor to hold the receiver far away from her ear. one down. she thinks as she places the phone back in its cradle. Now I just have to wait until she tells Shinji.  
  
____________________  
  
"Shinji!" Misato screams as she bursts into his hospital room. "Rei's alive!" All Shinji can do is stare dumbfounded at his guardian as his mind attempt to assimilate this information.  
  
"Where is she?" he yells leaping out of bed, or at least he would have leapt out of bed if he wasn't still tied down. "Where is she? How bad is it? Is she gonna be ok?"  
  
"She's in the hospital ER right now. Ritsuko said she's gonna make it." Misato was almost giddy with happiness. Shinji too was very happy, then his face darkened as his thoughts returned to Asuka. Misato left and Shinji was once again alone with his questions.  
  
"Why, Asuka. Why did you do it?" he whispered to the silent room. He began to quietly weep.  
  
____________________   
  
Two weeks after Shinji had been readmitted to the hospital Misato brought Rei in to talk to him. She sat in a chair next to his bed, as cold and silent as she had ever been. Shinji took a few moments to think of what to say.  
  
Despite the bandages over Rei's arms and the one over her eye she did not seem to actually be in any pain.  
  
"Thank you Rei."  
  
"For what?" came the small monotone.  
  
"You saved my life, and warned us about the commander." He said.  
  
"Did I? I do not remember." Shinji frowned. There was something different about Rei. He shrugged it off and was about to speak when a cryptic comment from Rei stopped him. "I do not remember, but... I... I think I am... the third." With that she stood and exited the room.  
  
Shinji stared at the closed door in shock.   
  
"What the hell was that about?" he asked.  
  
____________________   
  
"Shinji you are being released today." Misato told him.  
  
"Can I see Asuka?" he asked. He was still slightly puzzled over Rei's comment when she had visited him three days before.  
  
"Sure. I'll take you to her as soon as you finish dressing." Misato left the hospital to give him some privacy as he dressed. Ritsuko was waiting outside.  
  
"I have something that I think you and Shinji should see." The blonde scientist said.  
  
"Can it wait until after Shinji gets a chance to visit Asuka?" Ritsuko shook her head.  
  
"This can't wait." At that moment Shinji stepped through the doorway to see the women facing off. Something seemed to pass between them. Misato turned to look at Shinji  
  
"Sorry kiddo. We won't be going to see Asuka right away. Ritsuko has something to show us." Shinji had a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
____________________   
  
Darkness surrounds the three of them. Ritsuko, Misato, and Shinji are standing on a lift. It has been descending for over twenty minute all ready and doesn't show any signs of stopping anytime soon. They were going down into the depths of the Geofront, where NERV kept all of its darkest secrets.  
  
"How much longer is this going to take?" Misato asked, getting impatient.  
  
"Just a few more seconds." The lift suddenly came to a jerking halt, almost throwing Shinji, and Misato off of their feet. Ritsuko didn't even seem to notice. "This way." She said.  
  
Ritsuko stepped off of the lift and started walking down a long corridor. Shinji cast his glance around him while Misato stared straight ahead, her gun in hand.  
  
"This is part of what I wanted to show you." Ritsuko said stopping at a set of huge double doors. She slid a keycard through a slot next to the door and then punched in a password. The doors slid open to reveal a massive, dimly lit room.   
  
"My god. It's an Eva graveyard!" Shinji gasped.  
  
"Nothing so elaborate. More like a dumping ground. It took ten years and dozens of failures before we finally figured out how to build the Evas. Come on, you still have a lot more to see."  
  
Ritsuko turned and led them further down the hall. Stopping at another, almost identical set of doors, she repeated the key card, password procedure and the doors slid open. The room beyond was an almost exact replica of the test center where they did all of their harmonics tests.  
  
Except that the room was dark and everything was covered with a thick layer of dust.  
"Shinji. Do you remember this room?" Ritsuko asked him.  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
Yes. You were here when it happened, the first activation test of Unit 01. You were standing there looking out the window. Your mother insisted on being the test pilot for the first activation. You stood right there at that window and watched as she reached 400% synchronization with the Eva. She was absorbed into it just as you were, but unlike you she was not recovered.  
  
"So she's still..." Shinji stammered his eyes wide with shock.  
  
"Yes. Your mother is still inside of Unit 01. Every time it has gone berserk that is because she was trying to protect you. Your mother seems to have gained some control over the Eva." Shinji slowly sank to his knees as long buried memories began to resurface. Memories so deep that not even the 15th angel had been able to reach them.  
  
In his mind he saw a woman wearing a plugsuit like his, waving at him and smiling before climbing into an entry plug. His mother. She was smiling. That day when Unit 01 took her, she was smiling. He looked up at Ritsuko and when he spoke his voice came out as a trembling whisper.  
  
"Is this all you wanted to show me? Can I go now?" Ritsuko shook her head sadly.  
  
"No Shinji this is only the beginning of what you have to see tonight. You must now face the truth about Rei Ayanami."  
  
"What about Rei?" Misato asked. Speaking for the first time since they had gotten off the lift. Ritsuko didn't answer she just turned and continued to walk deeper into the building.  
  
"This looks like Reis apartment." Shinji said looking around the third room in awe. They were standing in a room that was indeed an almost exact replica of the apartment of Rei Ayanami.   
  
"It should be. This is where Rei was born. The visions of water and light that stream through Reis consciousness are merely reflections of this place" Ritsuko said. She turned and led them to the end of the hallway. It was block by a massive set of doors, doors almost big enough for an Eva to walk through. Inside was a large room.  
  
A mass of metal pipes and tubes led down from the ceiling to a large plastic tank. The tank was empty.  
  
"This is the center for the Dummy Plug System." Ritsuko said.   
  
"You mean..."  
  
"Yes Misato this is where it was created based on Reis brain patterns."  
  
"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.  
  
"The Evas work when they think there is a human mind interfacing with them. The dummy plug is like an electronic recording of Reis mind." She pulled a remote out of her pocket. "And these are the backups." She said as she pressed a button. The black walls suddenly lit up and they could see that they were filled with an orange liquid.  
  
And hundreds of floating, nude, bodies. All, wearing the same mindless smile.  
  
"Oh my god it's Rei!" Shinji cried stumbling back as hundreds of blood red eyes turned to look at him at the sound of his voice.  
  
"They're all Rei. You mean the dummy plugs are-"   
  
"Uh huh," Ritsuko said, cutting Misato off in mid-sentence. "These are the cores of the dummy plugs, they're what makes the system work.  
  
"Who are they?" Misato asked, her voice filled with fear, and disgust.  
  
"These? These are empty vessels, nothing but spare parts, spare Reis. Ha ha ha." She laughed. Shinji tore his eyes from the naked bodies before him to stare at her. There was a wild insane look in her eyes that chilled him to the bone.  
  
"Mankind found a god," she said. "and man, in his folly, tried to make the god his toy. For that arrogance mankind was punished. That happened fifteen years ago. And the god that man found, was lost."  
  
"But man continues to attempt to resurrect the god. And from that god... Adam... man attempted to make a man who was like a god himself, and that was Eva."  
  
"What?" Shinji stammered. "Evas are human?"  
  
"Yes. Inside the empty shell of each Eva is a human soul. But the only vessel which can hold a soul, is Rei. These things are... empty husks. They have no souls, no right to live." With that Ritsuko pushed another button on the controller. "The room of god is empty."  
  
The LCL that all the Rei were floating in turned red, like blood, and the bodies began to disintegrate.   
  
"The room of god is empty." As they fell apart they could be heard laughing, and giggling, as they were destroyed. Misato gasped.  
  
"Stop this, do you have any idea what you're doing?" Misato raised her gun and pointed it at the insane doctor.  
  
"Yes, I know. I'm destroying them!" She screamed. "These aren't human just things with human form!" Her next words were forced past her tears.  
  
"But even so, I lost to these things. To these soulless dolls. I couldn't win... I could have suffered any humiliation, endured any torture. But he had all ready chosen."  
  
"God! I'm a fool!" By this time her shoulders were hunched over in defeat and the tears were streaming down her face in full force. "Like mother like daughter, fools to the end."  
  
Shinji could only gaze with pity at the broken woman before him.  
  
"You wanna kill me, go ahead and do it! I welcome death." Finally, she was crying to hard to speak anymore, her whole body shacking with her sobs.  
  
"If that's what you want then you really are a fool." Misato said. Ritsuko sank to her knees, the remote falling from her hands.  
  
What is this curse that consumes those who come into contact with Eva. Misato thought as she stared at the crying woman whom she had once considered to be her best friend.  
  
Without another word Shinji and Misato turned and left Ritsuko there with her grief.  
  
End  
  
Ok let the hate mail pour in. I know you all want to kill me for doing that to Asuka. Well tough. It is all a part of my master plan. I hope you all paid close attention to that part. Remember the engagement ring that Shinji bought in the last part? That becomes an important piece later on so watch out for it.  
  
Also for those of you who were wondering about that weird spike that was on Asukas synchro graph in part three there will be an explanation about that in part five.  
  
All right I really hate writing the darker stuff. Don't mind reading it but I hate to write it. Any way in the next Installment we meet the Fifth Child. Yes Tabris the 17th Angel arrives to destroy what is left of Shinjis all ready shattered life/sanity.   
  
Asukas situation pushes Shinji to the brink of suicide himself but Kowaru pulls him back to reality in the nick of time, only to turn around and betray him. Meanwhile SEELE is preparing for their attack on NERV. The time is close at hand for Shinjis decision regarding the events foretold in the Dead Sea scrolls.  
  
Till next time  
See you on the other side.  
  
Written by  
Ryan T Nelson  
  
Any comment and criticism can be sent to my address at shinjikatsuragi@hotmail.com or at neongenisis51857@compuserve.com   
  



	5. Of Friendship and Betrayal Section One: ...

Authors Notes: All right goin' straight into the fic. In the last installment we witnessed Shinjis enraged reaction to Reis death. His father was left bleeding and broken on the floor of the command deck as a result. (Every one of you Gendo haters out there probably loved me for that one ^_^) Then of course we came to Asukas suicide attempt. (All of the Asuka fans were probably screaming for my head on a pike for THAT one.)  
  
I know, I'm a horrible person for putting Asuka and Shinji through all of this, but trust me it will all balance out in the end. It's all a part of my master plan. Of course there is also the possibility that I am lying and I have no plan whatsoever. Kidding, I really do have this planned out.  
  
Anyway, in this installment Asuka is in a coma. Shinji is going through hell without her and he turns to the one seemingly caring heart he can find. The fifth child, Kaworu Nagisa. He expresses friendship, and love for Shinji, things Shinji is desperately seeking with Asuka in the hospital…. And I am currently ruining the fic for you, just read the darn thing! ^_^  
  
  
  
Power of Commitment Part Five Section One:  
  
Of Friendship and Betrayal: Friendship  
  
  
  
Tokyo-3 has been practically destroyed. More than half of the city was wiped out by the destruction of Unit 00. The only facilities left intact were underground. Only NERV personnel and their families were still in the city at all. That is the only reason that Touji Suzahara, Kensuke Aida, and Hikari Horaki were still there, and even they were soon going to be evacuated.  
  
But that is not what Shinji Ikari was worried about right now. At this time he was walking into the NERV hospital that he has been a patient in one too many times.  
  
"Hello Shinji." The nurse said as he walked by her station. He politely nodded his head once, just enough to let her know that he had heard her, however his face held its emotionless expression. He had seen her everyday when he came to visit Asuka yet he still did not even know the woman's name. He continued on past her and straight to the elevator without saying a word to anyone.  
  
His face was a study of in-expression. Anyone looking at him would not be able to tell what was going through his mind. People looking up as he passed quickly averted their eyes when they saw his impassive and emotionless face. Another of the nurses walked up to the first.  
  
"What's his story?" She asked quietly. The first one leaned in and whispered to her.  
  
"You know that suicide attempt we got in a few weeks ago? Well I was the nurse on duty when that boy carried her in here. Apparently he left the hospital with six broken ribs to go out looking for her. I heard that she had run away. Well he found her and then when he got her here he refused medical attention until he heard that she was going to make it."  
  
"Wow! They aren't married are they? He looks too young."  
  
"No but I heard some one mention that he was going to propose to her. Right after he found out she was going to make it he collapsed and they had to treat him for the broken ribs and one punctured lung. I also heard that those are two of the pilots for those giant robots. They both got really messed up by some of those angels." The two continued to quietly discuss the tragedy of the situation as Shinji exited the elevator on the third floor.  
  
He walked briskly, looking straight ahead. Those who were members of NERV and knew the Commander would have instantly seen the resemblance. Shinji was beginning to resemble the Commander in more than just looks. His cold outward demeanor was exactly the kind of unresponsiveness one would expect from Gendo Ikari. They also scrambled to get out of his path.  
  
He stopped at the door to room 303, hesitated for a moment, and then pressed the button to open the door. Quickly stepping inside he closed the door behind him and walked over to the single bed in the room. He sat in the chair next to the bed and gently took Asukas' hand in his own.  
  
For several minutes he just sat there, unable to tear his eyes away from her face. Reaching out with one hand he cupped her chin in his hand and stroked the side of her jaw with his thumb. Eventually he spoke:  
  
"Asuka. Please come back to me." He whispered. "I miss you so much." He paused for a moment, looking for any response from the sleeping girl. None was forthcoming. He sighed and settled in. Since he had read that coma victims seem to respond to the sound of a loved ones voice he began to talk to her.  
  
"It's been a rough couple of weeks without you." He began. "We've missed you at home. Misato is a wreck and everyday Hikari calls and asks me how you are doing. I just told her that you were sick and couldn't talk. We're still going to school. They modified one of the shelters and that's where we have to go now." He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts while absently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.  
  
"Touji is getting some new artificial limbs. The doctors said that he should be able to walk again soon, and his sister is doing much better since they moved her to a NERV hospital." His voice trailed off again, and as always, whenever he came to see her, Shinji started to cry.  
  
"Why did you do it Asuka. Did you not love me anymore?" He paused again as a distant, almost forgotten memory floated into his mind. When he had found Asuka that night she had whispered something. "I love you Shinji, even if you don't love me." As that thought struck him, Shinji began to cry even more, not even questioning why, after nearly a month he had only now thought of that little detail.  
  
"I always loved you!" he cried. His voice was rising to the point where he was almost screaming. "What made you think I didn't love you anymore?" He reached into his shirt and pulled out the chain that he now wore around his neck. On that chain was the ruby engagement ring that he had bought for her, with her in the hospital it was all he had left of her.  
  
"I was going to give this to you the night before the 16th angels attack. Maybe if I had given it to you sooner you wouldn't have done this. I should have asked you to marry me that night. It's all my fault. Touji, you, Rei. Everything is my fault. I could have stopped it, but I'm just a weak little boy." His voice had lowered till he was whispering.  
  
"I failed you all. I let Rei die. I didn't save you. I let my father use the dummy plug that almost killed Touji…. It's all my fault. Just like that dream said." He shuddered at the memory of that wasted plain and all the bodies of his friends screaming at him, accusing him of being responsible for their deaths. But the most terrifying part was the memory of Asuka standing before him, both her wrists slashed, because she had committed suicide.  
  
He dropped his head down until his cheek was pressed against the palm of her hand and just let his tears overtake him, his whole body shaking with each trembling breath.  
  
____________________  
  
Right outside the door to the hospital room, Misato stood listening to Shinji's self-recriminations. It took all of her will power not to rush in there and slap the shit out of him. None of this was his fault and there he was blaming himself. But she knew that right then he was in no condition to listen to anything she would have to say.  
  
She looked down at the report in her hands. The report gave Mayas results from that weird spike they had detected in Asukas EEG. She sighed and turned to go find Maya.  
  
____________________  
  
"OK would you please explain it to me again? And try it in layman's terms for me." Misato said. Maya looked thoughtful for a minute as she struggled to find a way to explain the report in such a manner that Misato would understand. The two were sitting in Misato's office.  
  
Misato had not understood what the report meant so she had dragged Maya into her office so they could discus it.  
  
"All right. Major, pretend that you are standing on the top of a cliff overlooking a valley." Maya instantly noticed the Majors less than optimistic response. "Just bear with me a moment. You are on this cliff and you yell out. Now the sound echoes off the surrounding cliffs and slowly dies down. Right?"  
  
Misato nodded.  
  
"Now for the sake of argument let's say that the echo doesn't die down. It instead gets stronger, and stronger, until finally the vibrations caused by the sound waves are powerful enough to level the cliffs." Maya was in her element. She knew exactly what she was talking about and as she spoke she slowly became more and more animated, waving her arms around and gesticulating wildly.  
  
"Now by the same token the angels attack set off an echo in Asukas sub-conscious. But this time instead of sound, it was an idea. Now that idea echoes around inside her subconscious, until it becomes a ricochet. Finally that idea is all she can think about at times. It fills her dreams, it is influencing her actions." Maya sat down again.  
  
"What we need to know is what kind of idea could it have been if it drove her to attempt suicide." Misato closes her eyes in thought for a moment.  
  
"I think I know what it might have been."  
  
"What would that be Major?" Maya asked.  
  
"I'm sorry but that information is top secret. I promised Asuka that I wouldn't tell." Misato said. "If she ever wakes up will this echo still be there?"  
  
"Oh no. Her current EEG's show that it has completely subsided. Apparently either the coma or the attempt itself has fulfilled some obligation to the echo so it has simply disappeared."  
  
"Good. I have to go now Maya. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Bye Major."  
  
____________________  
  
Misato walked down the hallway to Asukas hospital room. She reached her destination and entered to find Shinji fast asleep with his head resting on his arms on the edge of Asukas bed, still tightly clasping her hand in his own.  
  
The scene was heart breaking to say the least. Misato gently traced the dry tear tracks on his face with one finger then reached down and gently shook the boy awake.  
  
"Misato?" He looked up at her with red, tired eyes. One look at those eyes and her heart began to ache. His once warm eyes were now as cold and disinterested as his fathers. Misato held up the report that was in her hands.  
  
"We need to talk." He nodded his head and stood up. Before they left he leaned over and tenderly kissed Asukas lips. He whispered something under his breath and Misato only caught one word.  
  
"… soft…"  
  
"What was that?" she asked. He looked up at her eyes brimming with tears.  
  
"Her lips. They used to be so soft. Now she's been in here so long they're dry and cracked." Misato gently laid one hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Well talk to one of the nurses about putting some lip balm or something on her lips." She pushed him away from the bed and steered him towards the door.  
  
As they left they failed to notice the silent girls' mouth twitch slightly and the increased beeps from the heart monitor were drowned out in the door hissing shut.  
  
____________________  
  
Inside Asukas mind we find ourselves back on that accursed dreamscape. For the millionth time since she passed out Asuka relived the never-ending nightmare. By this time she was numb to it, and even was narrating the dream.  
  
"Shinji appears. Rei appears. Door opens, mother asks me to die. I scream. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then the whole thing repeated. But this time it didn't repeat exactly the same. She heard Shinjis voice. It was faint as if he were speaking to her from a great distance.  
  
"I always loved you!" he cried. "What made you think I didn't love you any more?"  
  
"I was going to give this to you the night before the 16th angels attack. Maybe if I had given it to you sooner than you wouldn't have done this. I should have asked you to marry me that night." She listened as his voice reached her and in her dream her eyes widened in shock.  
  
"He was going to ask me to marry him?" she thought. Then she cringed as she listened to him berate himself for everything that had gone wrong in the past few months. "That IDIOT!" she shrieked. "None of this was his fault! Ooohhh when I wake up I am going to kick the commander up and down the length of Tokyo-3!"  
  
She continued to rant and scream for a few more minutes until she realized that she could no longer hear Shinjis voice. She listened intently and soon heard Misato speaking to Shinji. She listened as he explained about her lips and Misatos suggestion that they speak to one of the nurses.  
  
As their voices departed Asuka set her face in a determined frown. She gazed at the blackness that surrounded her and vowed to Shinji that she would fight for all she as worth to get out of this place.  
  
"I'll see you soon, my Baka Shinji." She whispered to herself as she set about the task of waking up.  
  
____________________  
  
"I want you to read this report Shinji." Misato said as she slid the folder across the table to him. They were sitting in the hospital cafeteria. He opened the folder and quickly scanned its contents while Misato sipped her tea. After a few minutes he looked up at her.  
  
She sighed. After reading the report she had hoped that he would at least have shown some confusion but his face was as emotionless as ever. It was almost like since Asukas hospitalization he had lost the ability to feel anything without her.  
  
"What does this mean?"  
  
"It means that we now know why Asuka is in the coma, or at least we know what may have pushed her into trying to kill herself."  
  
"So this echo was some idea that was bouncing around in her sub- conscious? What do you think it was?"  
  
"Well Maya estimated that it could have become obvious about three to four days before the 16th angels attack…" Shinji looked thoughtful as he did the math in his head. Suddenly his eyes grew wide.  
  
"Th… that.. would be pretty close to the night that Asuka and I…" his voice trailed off for a second. "The nightmare!" he screamed, jumping to his feet. Misato jumped at his sudden outburst and almost knocked her cup of tea off the table.  
  
"Keep it down. What are you talking about? What nightmare?" Shinji sat back down with a thump completely oblivious to all of the stares directed his way.  
  
"That night Asuka had a nightmare. I ran in to see if she was OK and she said that she had dreamed about her moms suicide… but… I kinda got the feeling that she wasn't telling me everything." Misatos grim expression proved him right. "What wasn't she telling me?" he asked.  
  
"That was probably most of it. The psychologists back in Germany said that Asuka was very strong willed. But they didn't think that it was very good for her. Being strong is all well and good, but Asuka took it to extremes. She drove everyone who might have gotten close to her away for fear that they would hurt her." She looked at him.  
  
"Much like how you block yourself off from everyone around you with your music. She was convinced that she didn't need anyone to love her. That's what the whole violent attitude was about. That's how she drove everyone away."  
  
"My guess is that the echo was the memory of her mothers suicide and the idea that no one could really love her because if they loved her than they would leave her. And she would be alone again. You seemed to be the contradiction to the idea that her whole life had been built around."  
  
Shinji was silent as he absorbed this information. Misato hesitated for a minute but then decided that now was as good a time as any to tell him. "Shinji. We are getting in a new pilot today."  
  
"Huh? Why we don't have a spare Eva? What's this person gonna pilot?"  
  
"Sub-commander Fuyutski has said that he will pilot Unit 02."  
  
"What!?" Shinji stood up and slammed the palms of his hands down onto the table, much like Asuka would have if she had been sitting there. "Just because she's in the hospital they're already trying to replace her!? Unit 02 is Asukas, and while I'm still alive no one is going to pilot it but her." He was by now leaning over the table, his face inches from Misatos and she was struck by how similar his behavior was to that of a certain red haired pilot.  
  
Asuka must be rubbing off on him, she thought, He's starting to act a lot like her. "Shinji, calm down. Think about this rationally. If the 17th angel attacks before we have a chance to get Asuka awake or to build a new Unit 00 then we need him if he can synch with Unit 02 you could need all the help you can get!" she screamed.  
  
"The last four angels have almost killed the lot of you. The 13th, we almost lost Rei, Asuka, you, and Touji. The 14th we almost lost you inside of Unit 01. The 15th and we almost lost you and Asuka, and right now we're still not sure about her. Then with the 16th we lost Unit 00 and half of the damn city is in ruin!"  
  
"We still have one more angel to go so right now we are assuming that it is going to be the most difficult of all! The new pilot will become the designated pilot of Unit 02 until we know whether Asuka will ever pilot again or not." Shinji glared at her for a minute before speaking.  
  
"Fine do what you want. I'm still going to pilot but there is one thing I want to make clear. I am not piloting for the good of mankind. I am not piloting for you, for my father, or for anyone else in this damn city. I am piloting for Asuka, because that is exactly what she would want me to do." With that he spun on his heel and marched back to Asukas room.  
  
Misato stared after him for a minute or so. Then…  
  
"Maybe now wasn't such a good time to tell him."  
  
____________________  
  
"How is the commander doing?" Misato asked. Sub-commander Fuyutski looked up at her.  
  
"He is fairing much better today then he has since Shinji finished rearranging his face. The doctors have decided that the hairline fracture in his jaw should be healed enough by now since it has been over a month since the fight. Tomorrow they are going to remove the wires and he actually looks mostly back to normal now that much of the bruising has healed."  
  
Misato tried desperately but could not hold back the huge grin that spread across her face upon hearing of the Commanders misfortunes. Fuyutski quickly noticed.  
  
"I see that you seem to be enjoying yourself." Misato quickly sobered up.  
  
"I'm sorry sir but I am just glad to know that he got what he deserved. He uses too many people around here, it was just a matter of time before one of them got pissed off enough to do something about it." Fuyutski returned the grin.  
  
"Can't say that I disagree with you." He said. "By the way have you seen Dr. Akagi lately?" Misatos grin instantly vanished.  
  
"No sir I don't believe that I have seen her since the day Shinji was discharged from the hospital." He noticed the cold tone in her voice. When Gendo Ikari might ignore such things, Kozo Fuyutski was much better at interacting with people.  
  
"Is there a problem between the two of you Major?"  
  
"Yes there is sir. But I will not let it interfere with our work." Without waiting for a dismissal Major Misato Katsuragi turned and walked out of the office. Once outside she allowed herself a small shudder as the memory of that night down in Central Dogma.  
  
Then with a sigh she continued on towards her office, and the pile of reports that awaited her.  
  
____________________  
  
"What do you mean?" Touji asked. Hikari squinted at him for a second.  
  
"You have been talking to him for the last month or so haven't you? He seems dead. Tell me, you've met the Commander of NERV right? You said that he was cold and didn't seem to express any emotion whatsoever." Touji nodded.  
  
"Well don't you think that that may be a bit how Shinji has been acting lately. Even when you guys tease him he doesn't even respond anymore. He doesn't blush he doesn't stutter, he barely even acknowledges your presence at all. Then also where has Asuka been all this time?"  
  
"He said she caught a really bad flu."  
  
"I don't believe him." Hikari said. "No one gets the flu so badly that they have to miss over a month and a half of school." It was the next day and Shinji had not gone to school. He had fallen asleep in Asukas hospital room and the doctors had let him stay there the night.  
  
"Yeah Hikari but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go over to the apartment to see what's wrong," Touji said. Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke were all walking over to the Katsuragi residence. Hikari to check on Asuka, and the boys were there to look in on Shinji.  
  
"Aw Touji leave her alone. You know that you're not gonna be able to talk her out of this so we might as well go and get it over with," Kensuke said. Touji sighed and surrendered. They walked the rest of the way in silence except for the slight buzzing sound given off by Toujis new prosthetic limbs.  
  
When Shinji answered the door they were all unsettled by the emotionless expression that seemed permanently attached to his face lately. Touji shrugged it off and clapped him on the back.  
  
"How have you been man? We missed you at school today."  
  
"I fell asleep at the hospital." Shinji muttered as he turned and walked back into the building. Hikari frowned. He didn't even invite us in. I've never seen Shinji so upset that neglected to be polite. He's always been the gracious host. What happened to him? Then she blinked as another thought occurred to her. He fell asleep at the hospital? Why was he at the hospital? They all entered the apartment and set their shoes by the door.  
  
They found Shinji on the couch in the living room staring off into space. Hikari tentatively walked up to him.  
  
"Shinji? Where's Asuka?" She waited for a minute in silence. She started to repeat her question but stopped as she saw a tear run down his cheek. Touji and Kensuke stood in an uneasy silence behind her.  
  
"Sit down." Shinji said.  
  
"You seem upset, maybe we should just lea-"  
  
"I SAID SIT DOWN!!!!" he screamed. The three quickly dropped into a seat, stunned by the sudden outburst. Well… two of them dropped into seats. Kensuke missed the edge of a chair and fell on the floor, but he was still too stunned to even think about climbing back onto the chair.  
  
"Hikari. Asuka does not have the flu. She is currently in the Hospital." Hikari gasped. "You heard about the fight that I had with my father?" Kensuke nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I hacked the mainframe and managed to download the footage from the surveillance cameras." No one decided to comment on the illegality of that statement, or the danger of it as Shinji continued his story.  
  
"I don't remember much of the actual fight. He broke six of my ribs in that fight. I woke up six days later in the hospital. The doctors are still not sure of how I stayed linked to Unit 01 after I exited the plug. I learned when I awoke that the day before Asuka had run away."  
  
"I walked out of the hospital to go find her. I spent hours wandering around the city looking for her. My ribs, which had only just started to heal, cracked again but I wouldn't give up. Eventually I found her. She was lying naked in a bathtub in one of the abandoned apartment complexes."  
  
The three of them had gone completely silent during the narrative and somehow they could all sense that the worst was yet to come.  
  
"She had slit her wrist with a pocket knife. She was trying to kill herself. I managed to get a hold of Misato and she got an ambulance to me. I carried her into the hospital and after they told me she would make it I was admitted for the broken ribs and one of the ribs had punctured my right lung."  
  
"I don't understand. Why would she try to commit suicide?" Hikari asked.  
  
"And why after all this time is she still in the hospital?" Shinji looked over at Touji. His eyes were red yet still as emotionless as ever and fresh tears had begun to make their way down his face.  
  
"She is in a coma. They don't why, and they can't get her to wake up."  
  
"Do they have any idea why?" Touji asked delicately.  
  
"No," Shinji said, shaking his head. His right hand came up to unconsciously fiddle with the chain around his neck. Hikari noticed the chain. When did Shinji start wearing jewelry? she thought.  
  
Upon closer inspection she recognized the importance of the ring hanging from the chain and it was all she could do to suppress a small gasp of shock. As the small assemblage continued to sit in silence she managed to catch the eye of the other two boys in the room. They both locked eyes with her and she jerked her head in Shinji's direction.  
  
Shinji was oblivious to all of this, staring off into space while he slowly rotated the chain around his neck.  
  
Kensuke saw the ring and she watched his eyes slowly widen in surprise. Touji just had a dumbfounded expression on his face.  
  
"Come one guys," Hikari said as she stood from her chair. "We should get going. Shinji? Are you going to be okay?"  
  
"Yeah." By the deadpan way that he spoke she knew that he hadn't really heard her. With a sigh she turned and grabbed Toujis wrist then dragged him to the door, Kensuke was right behind them.  
  
Outside, they were a block away from the apartment building before one of them spoke up.  
  
"Did any one else notice that ring that he was wearing on that chain?" Kensuke asked. Touji looked confused but Hikari just sighed bitterly.  
  
"Yeah. It's so sad. I don't think he'd be wearing it if he had gotten a chance to ask her before the coma." Touji looked back and forth between the two.  
  
"What about the ring? It was just a ring, why are you trying to make a big deal out of it?" He walked on for a few steps before he noticed that his two companions had stopped. He turned to look at them.  
  
"Touji Suzahara." Hikari said, anger in her voice. "As sensitive a person as I know you can be you didn't recognize what that ring meant?" Touji couldn't figure out why she was angry but he knew that he had done something wrong so he just shook his head silently.  
  
Kensuke stepped forward.  
  
"Sorry man." Touji was about to ask what he was sorry about when he felt a fist connect with the side of his jaw. He was thrown back by the force of the blow and landed on the ground a few feet away.  
  
"What was that for?" He asked holding his jaw. Hell of a right cross. Never new old Ken had it in him.  
  
"That was for being such a block head. That ring was not just any old ring. I mean have you ever seen Shinji wear that before?" Touji shook his head again, still not exactly sure what they were getting at.  
  
"It was an engagement ring!" Hikari screamed at him. "Since Shinji has the ring what do you think the odds are that he asked Asuka to marry him before she slipped into the coma? I can tell you that they're not very good." She glared at the cowering boy for another minute or so before turning her back on him. "I'm going home. My parents are sending me to live with my aunt in Tokyo-2 tomorrow. Good-bye." She walked away and was soon lost in the darkness.  
  
"Sorry for hitting you Touji but I had to. My dads shipping me out tomorrow also so I gotta get home. See ya around man." With a wave Kensuke ran down the street and soon he too was gone, leaving Touji sitting on the pavement in the middle of a nearly abandoned city.  
  
After sitting there for a few more minutes Touji climbed to his feet and decided to walk home himself.  
  
____________________  
  
Misato entered the apartment to find Shinji asleep on the couch. She shook him awake just long enough to tell him that they would meet the new pilot tomorrow and then she steered him in the general direction of his room. The still half asleep boy crashed into one of the walls before he managed to get the door to his room open where he promptly collapsed onto his bed, asleep practically before his head hit the pillow.  
  
____________________  
  
The boy looked around him. He was standing at the outskirts of the city known as Tokyo-3. A light breeze kicked up and his gray hair was blown back from his face. He turned towards the center of the city and seemed to be looking intently at something. If you were to draw a straight line from his gaze into the city it would have intersected the bedroom of one Shinji Ikari.  
  
"Ikari-kun." He whispered. The soft words were caught by the wind and it seemed to carry them deep into the heart of the city just as the sun broke over the horizon, and that was the dawn of a new day.  
  
____________________  
  
"Ikari-kun." Shinji awoke with a start. He looked around his room for a moment not exactly sure where he was. What had woken him up? It seemed that he had heard someone whisper his name. After a minute he shook his head and dragged himself out of bed.  
  
After a bit of fumbling he managed to get the door open and he stumbled into the bathroom for a warm shower. The water cascading over his face quickly woke him up and he spent the time thinking about that whispered voice.  
  
As he exited the bathroom he finally just dismissed it as a figment of his imagination. He went to his room and quickly dressed in his school uniform. Intermittent sounds coming from the kitchen told him that Misato was already awake.  
  
"Shinji! Hurry up, we need to get to HQ to meet the new pilot."  
  
"I'm coming!" he called back. On his way out the door he scooped up his SDAT player and followed Misato to the elevators.  
  
____________________  
  
"Where have you two been?" Ritsuko asked as they entered the simulation room. Misato opened her mouth to speak but Shinji beat her to it.  
  
"Ritsuko. I will take you giving me orders while in the test and anything else pertaining to Eva. But when I am outside of the entry plug, don't talk to me." He stared coolly at her for a minute before brushing past her and heading to the locker rooms to change.  
  
Ritsuko stared after him in shock.  
  
"Is it just me or has Shinji become much more aggressive lately?" she asked.  
  
"Don't talk to me either." Misato said. She was still angry with Ritsuko over the events in the dummy plug room. Ritsuko just stared helplessly at her for a minute before sighing in defeat.  
  
____________________  
  
In the locker room Shinji is just sealing his plug suit. He hears a light step behind him and turns to find a young boy nearby. Shinji's eyes roam over the boy as he studies him. Pale skin, much like Reis. Gray hair. Gray? Unusual color. Then his gaze moves on to his face. Strong chin, slightly angular face, very feminine features, and then the eyes.  
  
Shinjis heart stops beating for a moment as he stares into the mysterious boys blood red eyes, and in that instant Shinji is transported back to the Dummy Plug Chamber. He relives that moment of watching as the clones of Reis disintegrate before his eyes.  
  
"Hello." Shinji is snapped back into reality at the sound of the warm voice. His eyes refocus and he looks at the boy standing before him. For the first time Shinji realizes that he is wearing a school uniform much like his own.  
  
"Who are you?" Shinji asked. The boy walked forwards and extends one hand in greeting.  
  
"Kowaru Nagisa. The fifth child." Shinji freezes once again in the act of reaching out to except the offered hand. His eyes narrow slightly in anger as he realizes that this boy would be replacing Asuka as the pilot for Unit 02. When Shinji speaks his voice is cold and filled with a barely suppressed rage.  
  
"I understand that you will be piloting Unit 02. I want to make one thing clear to you right now. Unit 02 belongs to Asuka. She is its pilot. The only reason that I am even consenting to pilot at all with you here is because I know that I may need all the help I can get when the 17th angel arrives." Kowaru's hand slowly drops back to his side.  
  
"Mark my words as soon as Asuka wakes up you won't want to be anywhere near her when she discovers that you've been using her Unit 02. Now you should probably get dressed cause we have a synch test starting soon." With that Shinji stalks from the room.  
  
For a moment the gray haired boy stared after Shinji.  
  
"But Ikari-kun. The 17th angel has already arrived." Then he turns and quickly gets changed.  
  
____________________  
  
"Shinji! Calm Down!" Ritsuko yelled into the microphone.  
  
"Let me out!" Shinji screamed again. The command deck was in chaos. They had been three-and-a-half-hours into the test when Shinji noticed just how long this was taking. He also noticed what time it was. 4:57 p.m.  
  
The nurses would not let him in to see Asuka if he didn't get there before five-thirty. This thought enraged Shinji. The first irrational idea to pop into his head was that his father had ordered the test to go on past visiting hours, in an attempt to keep him away from Asuka. Inside, on the Command deck Maya gasped in shock.  
  
"What is it Maya?" Ritsuko had asked. She walked over to her young assistants monitor and soon her face showed a mirror expression of shock to Maya's.  
  
"What's wrong?" Misato asked.  
  
"Shinji's synch ratio with the simulation body has just jumped thirty percent, and it's still rising." That was when Shinji had started demanding to be let out of the entry plug. Now fifteen minutes later Shinji's rising anger had him screaming at the top of his lungs.  
  
"We can't let you go. We need to conduct this test."  
  
"I don't care about the damn test! I haven't had a chance to see Asuka yet today! I always see her, every day! Now let me the fuck out of here!!!" His anger peaked out and he released all his frustration in one powerful scream. At the same instant he smashed his fist down on the controls of his entry plug, the reinforced plastic cracked under the force of the blow.  
  
"Ritsuko, maybe you should let him out." Misato suggested. Though there was no hint of it in her voice, she was afraid that if they didn't let him out soon he might hurt himself trying. There was a moment's hesitation as Ritsuko studied Shinjis face. Finally she nodded her head once, and Maya gave the signal to stop the tests.  
  
Shinji was out of the test plug and running, practically before it had completely shut down. He skipped his shower and ran straight to the NERV hospital. He blew past the nurses' station and up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.  
  
"What was that?" one of the nurses on duty asked. There was a noncommittal grunt from the other who continued flipping through a fashion magazine. Shinji arrived at Asukas room, panting and gasping for breath.  
  
He collapsed against her bed, sobbing. For some reason on his way over he had gotten an uneasy sense of fear and he briefly thought that she might have died while he was away. He carefully wrapped his arms around her body and held her gently to him, as he sobbed into her nightgown.  
  
He soon relaxed enough to reassure himself that she was still alive. Even if she wasn't responding to him, she was still alive. He sat down next to her again and held her hand in his own, tears still streaming down his face.  
  
"Asuka. I can't do this anymore. I'm losing my mind. I can't take living without you." He sobbed quietly for a few more minutes and eventually drifted off to sleep, his cheek pressed into the palm of her right hand, and in his slumber he did not notice the fingers of her left hand curling up slightly.  
  
____________________  
  
Inside her mind Asuka was struggling. She was aware of what was going on around her to an extent but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to figure out a way to wake up. She sat there on the floor in that dark place wracking her brain for any clue that might help her out of her situation.  
  
Suddenly she hit upon one of her memories. It wasn't exactly a good memory but it wasn't exactly bad either. It was of a brief conversation she had once had with Rei Ayanami. They had been standing in an elevator and Rei had spoken to her.  
  
"If you do not open yourself to Eva then it will not obey you." Asuka had been furious at the time but now she knew that Rei had been right. Maybe this would apply to her current situation.  
  
Her mind was blocked off from the rest of her body. Maybe if she just relaxed and concentrated hard enough…. Asuka screwed her eyes shut in concentration as she attempted once again to break free from the prison she had created for herself. Suddenly her thoughts were shattered as a voice broke threw her mind.  
  
"Asuka, I can't do this anymore, I'm losing my mind. I can't take living without you." Asuka looked up.  
  
"Shinji?" Her eyes tear up as she realized that he was losing his grip. "Shinji be strong for me." She whispers. In desperation her mind touches on something and as she curls her hand into a fist she can feel her body copying the movement.  
  
____________________  
  
The fifth child, Kowaru Nagisa watches as Shinji races from the test facility. His blood red eyes study the view screen even after Shinji has long since vanished from sight. What is it about her that you think so highly of Ikari-kun? he thinks. He dismisses the thought as one he can do nothing about at that particular moment so he returns to concentrating on synching with Unit 02.  
  
It is not a difficult task for one with his power and he easily keeps his synch ratio up at 100%. In the meantime he has nothing else to do but think. Think about his task, to merge with Adam. But before he does that he want's to get to know Shinji Ikari.  
  
____________________  
  
Later, in the showers, Kowaru enters to find Shinji relaxing in one of the large baths. Kowaru undressed and sat down next to Shinji in the warm water. The splashing caught Shinjis attention and he cracked one eye to see who it was.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked. He had been back only a few minutes and Shinji had decided to wash off the LCL so he had relaxed in the bath.  
  
"I would like to talk to you." Kowaru said. He could sense the waves of hatred radiating from the boy next to him so strongly that he was amazed they weren't visible.  
  
"What about?"  
  
"The second child." Kaoru was startled when he suddenly felt a hand close around his throat. He looked into a pair of rage filled eyes.  
  
"Just because I am letting you pilot Unit 02 does not mean I have accepted you." Shinji grated from between clenched teeth. "You will not mention her around me. I do not want you asking questions about her."  
  
With his air cut off Kaoru could only nod in response. After seeing the pale boys' acceptance Shinji released him and sat back in the warm water. Kaoru resisted the urge to rub his neck. He knew there would be bruises there. Instead he took a moment to study the brooding boy before him.  
  
"Why are you looking at me?" Shinji asked. Kaoru took a moment to respond but when he did his answer stunned Shinji.  
  
"Because I think I love you." Shinji was too shocked to be angry and, being Shinji, he began to stutter incoherently.  
  
"B..b..b…. but you're a boy!" he shouted. Kaoru cocked his head to one side for a moment.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So? What do you mean 'So?'?" Shinji cried. "You cant just tell another boy that you love him like that!"  
  
"Why not?" Shinjis' jaw snapped shut as he realized that he really didn't have an answer to that question. He thought about it for a second and finally admitted defeat. He hung his head and waited for the pale boy to make the next move.  
  
Suddenly the lights in the baths went out casting the room in darkness.  
  
"It's time to leave now." Shinji said, suddenly a bit nervous around the strange boy. Kaoru nodded. "I'm going home."  
  
Shinji rose from the bath and walked out into the locker rooms. Kaoru sat in the dark for a few more minutes.  
  
"The time is close at hand. Soon I will no longer be able to resist his call." He stood and quietly slipped out of the baths, leaving the room in an oppressive silence, unaware of a pair of red eyes peering at him from around a corner in the dark.  
  
____________________  
  
Confused. That was how Rei felt later that night as she considered the events she had witnessed. Memories assaulted her, half joined images, half-remembered faces.  
  
"What are these memories?" she asked herself, her voice soft and smooth, yet surprisingly strong. She raised her head and looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Light blue hair feathered beautifully around a pale face, and two crimson eyes seemed to stare back at her from the depths of the glass burning into her very soul.  
  
"These memories are things that I have done… but I do not remember doing them." The reflections lips moved with her own in a parody of speech. The cold soulless reflection seemed to be talking to her and for some reason that she could not quite place this thought enraged her.  
  
"I am not a doll. I am not HIS doll," she said to her reflection. "I will not be controlled." The soft tone had risen in anger and suddenly her right fist lashed out, smashing the mirror. The broken shards fell into the sink with a resounding crash in the small apartment and she looked down into the sink to see hundred of her own reflection starting back at her. A memory rose unbidden to the forefront of her thoughts.  
  
A dark room surrounded by walls filled with an orange liquid. A mass of tubing in the ceiling all leading down to one tall plastic tank, and hundreds of identical looking girls floating in the orange fluid.  
  
She angrily spun around and walked out into the bedroom. She came to a stop before a small medical stand in one corner of the small room. Without a word she began to remove the bandages covering her body seeing as she was not really injured then they served no purpose.  
  
After the last one is removed a glint of light catches her eye. Looking down she notices that sunlight from the window had reflected off of a pair of broken glasses, sitting on the stand in an open, hard shell case.  
  
She picked up the glasses and studied them finding them terribly familiar but unable to remember the how or why of it. Once again anger gripped her and her hands slowly tightened around the glasses, within seconds the already cracked lenses shattered, and she let the twisted remains fall from her hands to land on the floor at her feet.  
  
She paused to wrench a piece of glass from the palm of her right hand. Bright red blood poured from the wound to drip into a beaker of water sitting on the medical stand. She gazed at the swirling cloud of blood in the water.  
  
"Red," she whispers. "A color I hate." With a frown on her smooth features she spun around and walked out of the apartment, slipping her shoes on as she passed, and not bothering to lock the door behind her.  
  
____________________  
  
The small white room is silent save for the hissing and beeping of the life support machines surrounding the bed. The pale figure in the center of that bed is now a shadow of her former self.  
  
Her eyes are closed and she is utterly still, giving no indication that she is even alive were it not for the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her fiery red hair is neatly arranged on her pillow. The hospital staff had wanted to cut it to make it easier for them to care for her but after several threats from a certain pilot, and NERV's Operations Director they had left it alone.  
  
Once again sitting in the chair beside the bed Shinji watched over her, his face an expressionless mask to hide the pain he felt. Unbeknownst to Shinji he had become equally as cold and heartless as his father.  
  
The door hissed open behind him. He made no sign that he had even noticed. Soft footsteps reached his ears and he heard the door slide shut again.  
  
"Hello Rei," he said without bothering to turn around.  
  
"Ikari." It was not the beginnings of a conversation but merely the acknowledgment of each other's existence.  
  
"Why are you here?" he asked after a moment. She remained silent. For several minutes they remained so, Shinji sitting in his chair his eyes never leaving Asukas face, while Rei's penetrating gaze bored into the back of his skull.  
  
"I am not sure why I came." Shinji sighed. It was going to be one of those talks. "I remembered something today." Shinjis head snapped around to look at her so fast that he felt the bones in his neck popping under the stress.  
  
If she was remembering her past life… Shinji didn't know what the implications might be of her filling in the holes in her memory but he felt that there might be something to learn from this conversation.  
  
"What do you remember?" he asked sharply. Rei chose to ignore the commanding tone in his voice and calmly answered his question.  
  
"I remember a warning."  
  
Shinji remembered all too well her warning Asuka and himself, that day so many short weeks ago. It was a day that he abhorred remembering because it was on that day that the joy he had finally found in his life began to slip away.  
  
"A warning?" he said speaking slowly and clearly. "What kind of a warning?"  
  
"One of death. Or life." Rei stepped forward and around the bed until she was standing on the other side staring across Asukas prone form and into his eyes. Those deep red orbs locked onto his and he found himself drawn into them, unable to look away.  
  
"Why are you telling me this Rei?" he asked.  
  
"That day as I left I told you that if I was able, I would speak with you again later. It is now later, and I am able." She stood there expectantly for a moment before he realized that she was waiting for him to talk to her.  
  
"Rei. I am not sure what you want me to say…" He trailed off as tears stung his eyes. Why is he crying? Rei wondered. "Rei can I talk to you about something?"  
  
"Yes." With a sigh Shinji began to talk. He told her of how happy he had been when he and Asuka had finally admitted their feelings for each other. He told her about how much he loved her, how much he wanted to make her happy. He talked of his fears about piloting the Eva and his reasons behind staying or coming back all those times.  
  
He talked about the night after she had warned them about his father. He told her how they had made love in Asukas room and how he had felt so complete holding her in his arms as she slept afterwards. He showed her the ring he wore around his neck and he mentioned his anger with Kaoru for seeming to try and replace Asuka.  
  
When he had finished he realized that he had been talking for over an hour, and in that entire length of time Rei had not uttered so much as a word. She had studied him, watched him as he spoke and she seemed to be contemplating something.  
  
"Ikari. You should speak with Kaworu." His head jerked up to stare at her in disbelief.  
  
"Why!" he shouted, "Why should I talk to him? He's trying to replace Asuka as a pilot. Piloting has been her life, they can't let him do that."  
  
"He is not trying to replace Pilot Sohryu," Rei said. "Remember that he is under orders to pilot that Unit. His wishes or you own mean nothing to the powers that are running this complex. Talk to him." She gazed at him with that unwavering implacable stare that he used to find so mysterious and wondrous at the same time.  
  
"Okay Rei," he said, finally admitting defeat. "I'll talk to him," he raised one finger, "But that does not mean that I am going to accept his piloting Unit 02."  
  
Rei smiled. An actual smile, small though it was it was still a smile. "I would expect no less of you Ikari."  
  
Despite his shock Shinji found himself returning the soft smile. It felt good to smile finally for what must have been the first time in over a month. Then his gaze dropped to the bed and the reasons for not smiling came rushing back in. He reached down and gently cupped Asukas face in his hand. Her skin was soft and smooth under his fingers.  
  
"Could you watch her for me?" he asked. "I think I need to get some air."  
  
Rei nodded. He bent down and kissed her again before turning and leaving the hospital room without a word.  
  
____________________  
  
An hour later Shinji was walking the streets of Tokyo-3. Well… what was left of the streets anyway. He seemed to be searching for something but was not entirely sure himself what it was he was looking for.  
  
After a time he found himself at the edge of the lake that had been created after Unit 00's self-destruction. He stood for several minutes staring off over the water before a sound off to his left caught his attention and he turned his head.  
  
He saw Kaworu Nagisa sitting quite calmly on the remains of a shattered and blackened statue. What the statue might have once been was impossible to determine. It was covered in a thick layer of dust, soot and grime and much of it looked to be missing entirely. No doubt due to the intense shock wave that had burst forth from the near nuclear explosion.  
  
Kaworu was humming a song quietly to himself. After a moment Shinji identified it as Ode to Joy.  
  
"A song is a beautiful thing don't you think?"  
  
"I guess so." Shinji peered at the pale boy.  
  
"That is one of the things I have always enjoyed the most about the Lilum, their ability to create such beautiful music in the midst of all the death and destruction." Kaworu turned his head to look at Shinji. "You are still angry at my designation as Unit 02's pilot aren't you, Shinji Ikari?"  
  
"I can't say that I'm not upset about it. Unit 02 is Asuka's she's gone through a lot in the almost year we've spent fighting the angels… but no, I'm no longer angry about it. Really it's not your fault either so why take my anger out on you?"  
  
Kaworu smiled gently at the boy before turning and leaping lightly from the statue to the shore. "You are wise beyond your years Mr. Ikari."  
  
Shinji frowned as the name rang in his ears, reminding him strongly of his father. "Please, call me Shinji."  
  
"As you wish, Shinji," The sun finally set over the mountains in the distance, casting the broken city in darkness, but the pale light of the full moon was enough to see by. For several minutes the two stood by the beach, watching the moonlight play across the water before Kaworu spoke, "Do you have someplace to stay tonight?"  
  
"I guess I'll go back to the hospital and watch over Asuka again." Shinji turned and slowly began to walk away. After he went about a dozen feet he stopped and looked back over his shoulder at the gray haired pilot. "I hope we can be friends, Mr. Nagisa."  
  
"If we are to be friends then you should not address me so formally Mr. Ikari. Call me Kaworu."  
  
"As you wish, Kaworu." There was a brief moment of laughter shared between the two as Shinji turned and disappeared into the night, the hostility between them laid to rest. The Fifth Child turned to gaze out over the water, his face suddenly grim and steady.  
  
"Soon. The time is near, and I will have to answer his call. Two more days Shinji Ikari. In two days, you will face your final Challenge, and the Final Messenger will be no more."  
  
____________________  
  
With a mechanical hiss the hospital room door slid open. Rei looked up from her book to see Shinji standing in the doorway. There was an unspoken question in her gaze and a brief communication seemed to pass between the two.  
  
She nodded silently and stood from the chair by the side of the bed. They walked passed each other silently. As Rei stepped through the doorway she was stopped as Shinji spoke up. "Thank you for watching her Rei."  
  
Rei turned and looked in at Shinji. There was a moments silence and a small smile graced her features. "You are welcome, Ikari-kun," and the door hissed shut, leaving him alone with his love."  
  
____________________  
  
The next day, dawned clear and bright. The morning sun broke over the mountains shining down on the destroyed city that was once the heart of Japan. Tokyo-3 would never be the same again and already word was coming through the grapevine of the possible building of Tokyo-4.  
  
Shinji's eyes slowly fluttered open and he gazed up at the ceiling. For several moments he struggled to put together where in the hell he was but all too soon it came back to him. He was sitting in the same chair at Asuka's bedside, slouched down slightly and his head tilted back on his neck.  
  
Slowly he sat up wincing as the stiff muscles in his neck screamed in protest at the movement. Looking over to his love he saw that she was still asleep, still silent and unmoving, the only evidence that she was even alive being the soft rise and fall of her chest, and the continuous beeping of the heart monitors.  
  
He turned his head as he heard the door open and a nurse walked in. "Well, I see you're awake." Shinji nodded slowly as he watched the nurse move over to check some of the machines monitoring Asukas vital signs.  
  
"Look," she said as she worked, "You aren't getting anything done sitting there, and trust me, if she wakes up we'll be sure to inform you. The hospital has your cell phone number and that of Major Katsuragi. Why don't you at least go get something to eat? You'll be no good to her when she wakes up if you're too exhausted to stand on your own two feet."  
  
Shinji nodded again and slowly climbed to his feet. "I guess you're right," he said as he stretched some of the kinks out of his back from the odd sleeping position. "Thank you."  
  
She smiled at him, "No thanks necessary," she said as she made little shooing motions towards the door. "Now go, get out of here before I have security throw you out." Shinji smiled and obediently moved towards the door. He stopped for a moment at the threshold to look back at Asuka one more time, before stepping through, and it hissed shut behind him.  
  
____________________  
  
Shinji looked up from his plate as someone sat down across from him at the table in the hospital cafeteria. "Hello Kaworu," he said.  
  
"Hello Shinji." A silence settled over the table as the two ate their meals.  
  
"What are you doing here Kaworu?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Yesterday you said you hoped we could be friends, do friends not eat together at times?"  
  
"I guess so," Shinji muttered as he rose from his seat and dumped his trash into the trash can. "So you came down here to eat with me is that it?"  
  
"Not entirely."  
  
"So what was it you wanted?"  
  
"I wanted to see my fellow pilot and friend."  
  
"Well, there's really not much to see Kaworu. If you'd like you can come sit with me today in Asukas' room."  
  
"I would indeed enjoy that Shinji," Kaworu said as he rose from his seat. Without any further discussion the two walked silently down the white halls to the room, where they would spend the rest of the afternoon in solitude. Quietly conversing at times, but for the most part silent, as they grew to trust each other, and became comfortable in one anothers presence.  
  
____________________  
  
Late that afternoon they left and journeyed to the NERV dormitories where Kaworu had been supplied with a small apartment. Shinji was unwilling to go home and Kaworu offered him a place to sleep other than an uncomfortable hospital chair.  
  
"Kaworu?" Shinji asked, as the two prepared to sleep.  
  
"Yes Shinji?"  
  
"Why are you being so nice to me? I mean letting me stay here after how I treated you before?"  
  
"Do all people not deserve the respect of others as long as they try to live well?"  
  
"Do they? Do I? I'm not sure I am deserving of your respect Kaworu. Not so sure I deserve friendship either."  
  
"You are more than deserving Shinji. You have a heart of glass you know. Strong but at the same time very fragile, easily broken. You are too sensitive, this is your blessing, and your curse."  
  
Shinji lifted his head from the pillow as he lay on the floor and glanced towards the low bed that filled half the room, and the small boy that occupied it. There was silence for several minutes as Shinji studied his friend, "Good night Kaworu"  
  
"Sleep well Shinji." Shinji rolled onto his side facing away from the enigmatic young man and quickly drifted into a troubled sleep. For many minutes after he had drifted off the sole remaining occupant of the room watched him, his face a study of sorrow.  
  
"Sleep well Shinji, for it will be sometime after tomorrow before you will be able to sleep soundly again." Then, Kaworu Nagisa, otherwise known as Tabris, The 17th Angel, closed his eyes, and slept."  
  
____________________  
  
End  
  
IT'S FINALLY DONE!!! After about eight months of waiting this chapter is finally finished and with any luck at all Section Two should be out within the next two weeks. Of course many of you won't believe that but come on gimme a break people.  
  
Anyway, next section, The Betrayal, is guaranteed to be short and to the point, a major change from my usual chapters, Tabris' betrayal, his death at Shinjis hands. All the good stuff.  
  
Power of Commitment Part Five Section One:  
  
Of Friendship and Betrayal: Friendship  
  
Written by  
  
Ryan T. Nelson  
  
Until next time…  
  
See you on the other side… 


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